#14 - Discovering Your Values & Being True to Yourself, with Dr John Demartini

This episode, join Kristina in conversation with the incredibly inspirational Dr John Demartini. A world-leading specialist in human behaviour, a researcher, author and amazing global educator, Dr Demartini has dedicated more 45 years to studying and teaching personal development and self-mastery.

His dream – and his purpose – in life is to help people all over the world to live more empowered and inspired lives.

After growing up with learning difficulties – which meant he actually didn’t learn to read until he was 18 years old – Dr Demartini was driven by a desire to free himself from the constraints life had placed on him, and made the bold decision to transform his life.

The perfect example of how you can do anything you set your mind to, no matter who you are or where you come from, Dr Demartini is now the well-respected founder of his own private research and education organisation, the Demartini Institute.

He has also trademarked his own personal development methodologies, the Demartini Method and the Demartini Value Determination Process – both designed to help you get gain clarity and move closer to living your dream life. In this incredible episode, you’ll learn…

  • How to discover what you truly value in life
  • The importance of living a life aligned with your core values, and not someone else’s
  • How to prioritise what matters most to you, and reduce the distraction and time you spend on anything outside of that
  • How to stop comparing your actions to other people’s values, and learn to honour your true self
  • The power of giving yourself permission to structure your life in alignment with what inspires you the most
  • How to be more present and appreciate the everyday by embracing a daily gratitude practice, and so much more!

If you love this episode, don’t forget to subscribe for plenty more inspiration! And please tell us what you thought by leaving us a review!

Don't forget to help up spread this inspiring message to even more people by sharing our podcast on social media with the hashtag #101milliondreamers


"I have personally attended Dr Demartini's Breakthrough Experience course and was completely blown away by the insight and learnings I walked away with. I absolutely love his ideas on how we should all stop comparing ourselves to others and start living a life more aligned with what we value the most." Kristina Karlsson
"One of the most vital messages I took from our chat was how important it is to discover our core values. By really getting to know ourselves and understanding what truly inspires and drives us, we can then make decisions to live a life in accordance with this, rather than letting someone else decide what’s the most important to us." Kristina Karlsson



Our dream is to inspire and empower 101 million people around the world, just like you, to write down three dreams, and go chase them! Don't forget to help up spread this inspiring message to even more people by sharing our podcast on social media with the hashtag #101milliondreamers 




Kristina:                        00:04                What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail, if you had all the money, all the time, all the knowledge, all the resources that you needed. What would you do with your life if you simply knew that anything was possible for you? My name is Kristina Karlsson, fonder of global Swedish design and stationery brand kikki.K and author of the book your Dream Life Starts Here and I love exploring these sorts of questions to inspire people to dream. Before I started kikki.K, I had a dream that I could bring Swedish design to the world, to create beautiful products that brings sparks of joy into the everyday lives of millions.

Kristina:                        00:48                Now that I have achieved that dream, I want to help you dream big. I want to create a global movement to inspire 101 million dreamers to transform their lives and transform the world in return. Each episode I'll be talking to some of the world's most inspiring people. Exploring the powerful impact the dreaming has had on their lives. We'll be diving deep into the power of dreaming with real insights and ideas that you can use immediately to build a dream life of your own, whatever that means for you.

Kristina:                        01:24                I am so excited for you to hear this episode. As I'm speaking with one of the most inspirational people I have ever met, Dr. John Demartini. A world leading specialist in human behavior, a researcher or author and amazing global educator. Dr. Demartini has dedicated more than 45 years of studying and teaching personal development and self mastery. His dream and his purpose in life is to help people all over the world including me to live more empowered and inspired lives. After growing up with learning difficulties, which meant he didn't learn to read until he was 18 years old, Dr Demartini was driven by a desire to be free from the constraints life had placed on him and decided to transform his life.

Kristina:                        02:20                Dr. Demartini is the perfect example of how you can do anything you set your mind to no matter who you are or where you come from. Now, the founder of his own private research and education organization The Demartini Institute, he has also trademark his own personal development methodologies, The Demartini Method and The Dermartini Value Determination Process, which you may have heard of. Both designed to help you get clarity and move closer to living you dream life. I have personally attended his breakthrough experience course and I was completely blown away by the insight and learnings I walked away with.

Kristina:                        02:59                In this incredible episode, you'll learn how to discover what you truly value in life, the importance of living a life aligned with your true core values and not someone else's. How to prioritize what matters most to you and reduce the distraction and time you spend on anything outside of that. How to stop comparing your actions to other people's values and learn to honor your true self. The power of giving yourself permission to structure your life in alignment with what inspires you the most. How to be more present and appreciate that everyday by embracing a daily gratitude practice and so much more. There is so much wisdom in this episode that I truly hope you get as much out of this podcast as I have from Dr. Demartini teaching over the years. So let's get right into it.

Kristina:                        03:49                So Hello Dr de Martini and welcome to our Dream Life podcast. I am so incredibly excited and very honored to be speaking with you today. Thank you for taking the time out of your incredibly busy schedule while you're here in Australia and before we start, I just want to say you are such an inspiration to so many including myself and I did the breakthrough last year and I absolutely loved, loved, loved it, so very warm welcome to you.

Dr Demartini:                04:15                Well, Thank you. Thank you for having.

Kristina:                        04:18                So, and even after more than 45 years of studying, researching and teaching personal development, self mastery, human behavior and healing, you are still traveling the world, helping people live more empowered and inspired lives. I cannot wait to dig into this conversation and explore your incredible personal journey and wisdom with our listeners. But first I'd like to start each episode by asking each of my guests to think back to their childhood. And I love to ask you about your childhood, what your dreams were as a child? And what did you dream about for your future as a child?

Dr Demartini:                04:51                Oh I think as a young boy really around four, five or so I wanted to be a baseball player. And I started baseball when formally ... I was just playing with my dad. He used to throw the ball three feet and we'd catch it, and then four feet and then five feet and went across the yard and it went down the street and he taught me how to throw and catch a baseball. And so when I was seven I was playing in the Pee Wee league and then I was eight I played in the Little League, which you're supposed to start at nine but I got in eight and when I was nine I got to play in the more advanced league. Just kept working my way up until I was 13 and did really well in baseball, but I did really poorly in school. I had learning problems.

Dr Demartini:                05:38                Then my parents moved from Houston, Texas to Richmond, Texas. And baseball wasn't the same there. The the coach wouldn't show up, half the team wouldn't show up. We had to forfeit the games. People on the other side had to play on our side. It was just crazy. It wasn't the same professional type of arrangement. Small town. And so I went to this alternative sport which was a surfing. And my dream was to go and ride waves first in California and then Hawaii.

Dr Demartini:                06:10                So when I was 14 I hitchhiked to California from Texas, just a couple of thousand miles and then down through Mexico and so I could surf. I just wanted to surf. When I was 15 I made it to Hawaii and I rode on the north shore, I lived on the north shore. So I became a big wave rider when I was a teenager. And that was my dream until I turned 17, and then I ended up having a close brush with not making it ... not living.

Dr Demartini:                06:39                One night I had the opportunity to meet a really an amazing teacher at a particular class that I attended, that I never went to classes but this time I did and I met Paul Bragg. And Paul Bragg inspired me to believe that maybe I could overcome some learning problems that I had and that I could do something like maybe he was doing, which is inspiring. And I had a dream to travel the world and to become a teacher. And so those are the three main dreams I've had. I thought about being an international sex symbol, but there's been no evidence of that in all these years. So I just know that that's not a real goal. That was a joke.

Dr Demartini:                07:15                But I realized that my love is learning and sharing and traveling the world teaching. And that's what I love doing it's what I've been doing now 46 years.

Kristina:                        07:23                And you're doing incredible job out of all that. I think I read somewhere and you might need to correct me, that you're traveling 360 days of the year. Is that correct?

Dr Demartini:                07:34                Well, I really traveled full time. I live on a ship and I call it the world and when I'm there, which is rare, I travel. And then when I'm not there, I'm going from country to country, city and city. I can do sometimes 60 countries in a year and I'm constantly traveling. So I've done I think 36, 37 talks so far this year and we're just barely into it. And I'm constantly doing presentations and interviews and media and consulting and I love doing it. When I leave here, I get to go to Dublin, then I go to London and then I go to LA and Vegas and I think I go to Africa. So constantly on the move.

Kristina:                        08:16                So I love to talk about the Demartini Value Determination Process now as this is something I personally find so inspiring and practical when trying to figure out what I valued most in my life. So first thank you for that because I've done a lot of work on my values but it wasn't until I find your way of doing it that really got to what I believe is my true values. And in fact I loved it so much that I referenced it in my book, which I gave you The Dream Life Starts Here. As a great starting point for anyone wanting to make their dream life a reality. But for our listeners who may not be familiar with this, can you explain the idea behind the process, but also how important do you believe it is to live a life aligned with your core values?

Dr Demartini:                08:56                Oh, that's an important question, so thank you for that. I have observed that many people say they want to do something sort of fantasia wise and then they don't get around to doing it. And I was wondering why is it that so many people say they want to do something and then don't do it? Yeah. Like I asked, I can stand in front of 10,000 people and say, how many of you want to be financial independent? Every hand will go up. And then say how many of you are? And all the hands go down. And I go, why is it there's such a discrepancy between what people say they want and what they actually live. There's an incongruency.

Dr Demartini:                09:27                And then I realized that the people have a set of values, set of priorities, things that are most important to least important in their life. And that really determines their perceptions, decisions and actions and therefore their destiny. And if they set a goal that is not aligned or congruent with what they really value most, they are less likely to achieve it. And they don't have the spontaneity and the desired inspired action, to take action, to make it happen. And they don't have the resilience and adaptability to endure the challenges that come with achievement. And so they are living in somewhat of a fantasy instead of ground themselves and really setting goals that are really meaningful to them.

Dr Demartini:                10:05                And I see this more than people comprehend, realize that it's just amazing. So I realized that when I ask people what their values are, what they really value in life, a great percentage of people would recite what they think it should be. And they were reciting mothers and fathers and preachers and teachers and conventions and traditions and everything else. And I said, well I'm not interested in that. I'm interested in what your life really demonstrates, because that's what really counts.

Dr Demartini:                10:33                So I could make up stuff about what's important to me, but when my life demonstrates is that I love researching, writing, traveling and teaching. So the rest of it is just kind of fluffy, not true. So I tried to figure out a way of objectively identifying what was really behind their actions and what did they really live their life by. And I've found that one of the criteria things that are really, really, really valuable to you, keep in your space and you keep with you. And things that aren't really valuable you toss and get rid of and don't want it around you.

Dr Demartini:                11:03                So I looked in one of the value determinants of space. If somebody gives you a beautiful diamond ring, you're probably going to keep it around you and you're not going to take it off easy unless you really upset and then you'll probably get rid of the ring and get the diamonds. If something is really, really zero value, it goes in the trash and you want it out of the house. So I looked at that and things that are proximal versus distal or more important than things distal. Then I looked at time, we find time, make time, spend time figuring out how to get time for things that are really valuable to us and always say, well, I just don't have time I can't do that on things that aren't.

Dr Demartini:                11:37                And people sometimes think, well, I just don't have time to do things, but they have time to do what's really more important, they just think the other things are important. And they keep thinking they're sabotaging, but they're really just living by what they value. And so finding out how they spend their time is crucial. And then next one is what energizes you when you're really doing something to [inaudible 00:11:58] energy goes up and when you're not, it really goes down.

Dr Demartini:                12:01                So you look at what energizes you once you, what do you always have energy for? I can go 18, 20 hours a day doing what I do and people go, where do you get all the energy? It's simple. Once you understand what energy is, it's just a degree of congruency in your life. There's no lack of energy. Then I look at what did people spend money on. People find money, make money, spend money on things that are valuable and they just don't want to spend money on things that have no value. So I look at that and as I go through and ask people, how do you spend that? And I asked them for three answers for each. The same answers, if it's real it, the answers come up the same. There's a pattern.

Dr Demartini:                12:42                And then I look where they're most organized, where they're most disciplined and reliable, because really you're always reliable to do what you value. You see, if you expect somebody to live outside their highest values, you're going to feel betrayed. But if you expect people to live according to values, they're not going to be betray it. They're going to be doing what they expect. And then I look at what they think about, visualize and talk to themselves about internally about how they want their life that is showing evidence of coming true. If there's no evidence it's just fantasy.

Dr Demartini:                13:11                So I look at what is the evidence in your life? What do you spontaneously do that shows evidence? That tells me what's really valuable to you because you won't stop and you won't give up on things that are really valuable. Then I go look at what you converse with other people, want to talk to people about most. Because you tend to want to bring the conversation. People come up to me in a seminar and they go, well how's your kids? Well obviously I have a value in kids it tells me right away or how's your investments? Or how's your business? Or how's your golf game? Or how's your studying coming?

Dr Demartini:                13:38                They tell me and reveal what's valuable by the things they want to converse about. And then I'll look at what inspires them. And what's the comment to the people who I have inspired the most. There's a pattern. And I document those three things. And then I look at what is it that they have as goals that are coming true, the most consistent and meaningful and persistent goals they have that are coming true. And then I look at what is that they can't wait to get up and read, study, learn about, listen to, watch YouTubes on. Because there's something that they constantly go back to.

Dr Demartini:                14:08                And if I put three answers for each and get 39 answers and then look at which one of those answers or they're synonyms resurfaced over and over and over again most, second most, third most. It gives me a hierarchy of values that is revealed by what their life demonstrates. Because I really don't care what people say, I care about what their life demonstrates. Because that's really what counts. Because you can't persistently try to live in other people's values while eventually breaking down and you keep returning to what's really valuable to you.

Dr Demartini:                14:36                And once I find that it's time to structure your life around that. Because if you're not living by high values where you're spontaneously inspired within to do it, your life's going to be a quiet life of desperation. And if you don't delegate lower priority things, you're going to be trapped. And many people are afraid to delegate and they get trapped doing low, menial things that devalue them. And the symptoms of the devaluation is a feedback system to try to get them like back onto a high priority, and give them permission to be authentic and their true identity, which is an expression of their highest value.

Dr Demartini:                15:08                So I help people find out what their values are, help them structure their lives, prioritize their lives, organize their lives by priority so they can start having an energy, a vitality, a clarity. In fact, what's interesting is when you do live by what's valuable, the blood glucose and oxygen goes into the forebrain, activate the executive center, wakes up inspired vision, strategic planning, executing plans, self governance. And you tend to act like a master of history, master of your destiny instead of some victim of history.

Dr Demartini:                15:40                And so it's so important to give yourself permission to go after what's truly meaningful and not conform and subordinate, live in the shadows of people. Give yourself permission to stand on the shoulders of giants. Recognize whenever you see great in other people you have inside or you wouldn't recognize it. Honor the form that it's in, and express your uniqueness and make the difference you want in life.

Kristina:                        16:00                Yeah, I love that. And I found that your online tools so helpful. So we will link to that in the podcast so people can do that themselves. But for those people who are distracted in the world, you know how we see a lot of peoples on the phone these days. So how do you help those people get away from that and actually do what they really value?

Dr Demartini:                16:19                Well, first identify what the values are and then ask themselves. Honestly, I just got through doing that consulting with the person minutes ago. They were saying, I just can't get it all done. I can't get it all done. And I said, well that means you're doing lower priority things. Because you can always get what's really most important. Gary Keller wrote The One Thing, a book called The One Thing. It's a great little book.

Kristina:                        16:38                Yeah. I love it.

Dr Demartini:                16:39                I've lectured for his company many times. And if you ask yourself what is the absolute highest priority, one thing that you can do right now that can help you fulfill what's most meaningful and productive in your life? And target that and say no to things that aren't the most important. Say yes to things that are you amazing what you can get done in a day. Your self worth goes up, your accomplishments go up. And then surround yourself with people that will be inspired to do the things that you want to delegate. Man, that liberates.

Dr Demartini:                17:06                But so many people are allowing themselves to not say no to things outside and not say yes to a thing that's really most important. Because they don't take the time to do it. They don't believe either they're worthy or capable of actually taking command of their life sometimes. So finding what that real priority is and sticking to it is key. And with a phone, I don't have a phone. I don't carry a phone.

Kristina:                        17:29                Oh, really?

Dr Demartini:                17:30                Yeah. I don't have a phone.

Kristina:                        17:32                Love it.

Dr Demartini:                17:32                Because I've just found it distracting and people want to intrude on you stuff like that I said no. If I use it, I use my Skype on my computer occasionally, but I want my time. I want my life. And I want to fill it with how I want it. And I don't find that productive. If I'm going to use the phone, which is very rare. It's usually somebody else's phone and it's usually for interviews. What I usually do is I have an agenda. I keep an agenda every day. It maps out hour by hour, how I what my life. And I've made a list of all my priorities, how I want my life structured. And then I've hired people to make sure that day's filled with that. When it's filled with things that are inspiring, it's easy to say no to things that aren't it. If you don't fill it, weird stuff fills it.

Dr Demartini:                18:22                If you don't fill your day with high priority actions that inspire you, it does fill up in low party and distraction that don't. So it's your responsibility because nobody's going to get up in the morning and dedicate your life to your fulfillment. You don't do it nobody else's. And if you don't empower all areas of your life, you don't empower yourself with your mind, you'll be told what to think. You don't empower yourself in business, you'll be told what to do. You don't empower yourself with finance you'll be told what you're worth. This don't do it in relationship you'll be pushed around and pitched at.

Dr Demartini:                18:47                If you don't empower yourself in social, you'd be probably following some propaganda that's irrational. If you don't empower yourself in physical, you'd probably take some drug or take organs out of your body. And if you don't empower yourself spiritually, it'd be probably taught some irrational dogma that doesn't make sense. So allow ourself, give yourself permission to take the lead. The real you is a leader.

Kristina:                        19:10                So great. I absolutely love that. I've done the online tool quite a few times because when I did it first time I thought my highest value was learning because it came up, because I read, read. I always bring books and I always carry books and I always buy books and it's around me everywhere. But then I realized that I don't want to learn how to fix a machine or something. It was more personal development and improvement all the time and that's how I cannot really got into more of that. So it's been really helpful. So thank you very much for that.

Dr Demartini:                19:39                And yes, thank you.

Kristina:                        19:39                So as someone who educates and inspires others to live a life aligned with their values, you must clearly have a very defined values of your own, which I know you have. Can you tell us what your core values are, I know you said it before, but really talk about a little bit more in depth, how you actually got to them.

Dr Demartini:                19:56                All you gotta do is be a hovering observer of yourself and look at what your life demonstrates. That tells you what you really value. In my case, I had learning problems to as a child. In fact when I was born, I believe I was one and a half to age four I was going to a speech pathologist and I had to use strings and buttons in my mouth as a kid. And I had difficulty pronouncing and speaking and things. And also when I got into first grade I realized I couldn't read. So I didn't read until I was 18. So I had learning problems, speaking problems, and I was also born with my leg and arm turned inward. So I had to wear braces on my arm and leg from age about two to four. And I think that constraint wanted me to be free.

Dr Demartini:                20:46                So when I look at all those ingredients, it's pretty obvious that to become a professional speaker, that full time travels and to read and to write all the things that I had the most difficulty with became ... the very things they say you'll never do maybe the things you're meant to do, I don't know. But in my case, they certainly had a void value drive. And so when I turned 17, 18, and I met Paul Bragg, I never thought I would ever be intelligent. I always thought I was going to have to do it in sports because the teacher told me I would never make it in education and reading and things, I'll have to use sports. And I thought that was it.

Dr Demartini:                21:24                So I was daring in sports. But then when I met Paul Bragg, after hearing him speak, he gave me the impression that maybe just maybe I could someday be intelligent. And I just never thought that was possible until I met him that night. And that was a dream, but it was not believed possible. But that and that night I saw a vision of me standing in front of a large group of people, a million people from a big balcony. And I saw myself speaking and I went, whoa, where'd that come from? Probably a dissociative identity disorder. And I just thought that was so real. And it brought tears to my eyes. I went, that's what I would love to do.

Dr Demartini:                22:06                And I guess that vision has been carrying me all these years because, I just never wanted to stop doing that. And I had to learn how to read. When I moved from Hawaii to Texas, my parents suggested I take a GED test, which is a high school equivalency tests because I didn't have high school, never finished high school. And what I did is I took this test and I guessed and passed. I was saying to this affirmation, I'm a genius not a [inaudible 00:22:32] because Paul Bragg told me to say it every day to help me overcome my learning problems.

Dr Demartini:                22:35                And I said it and I passed and I thought, oh maybe there's some power in this thing. And then I took this college entrance exam that their suggestion and I guessed and I passed. So now I'm all of a sudden having a high school degree. I'm thinking, oh, I'm intelligent after all. And then I took my first class in school and it was English and history, the first two classes and history class, I got my scores and I thought, oh, I'm going to pass again. I got a 27 and everybody else was 70 and above and I got this 27 and I was so humiliated by it. I ran to my car, I got inside, I cried, I drove home, I cried, I got on the floor in my living room and I just crawl up under this Bible stand and just cried.

Dr Demartini:                23:19                Because I thought this whole thing is just bull. This idea of being a teacher and traveling and it's just fantasy and I'm sitting here with internal conflict and turmoil because I'm thinking, well I know I can surf. I can make it that way. I know I can make boards, but maybe this whole thing was a fantasy after all I don't have what it takes. I'm really stupid. And My mom came home from shopping and she saw me. She said, son, what's wrong? What happened? I said, mom, I blew the test and I was apologetic Turk, because I know she encouraged me to want to go to school. And I said, I just don't think I have what it takes. I guess I'll never be able to read or write or communicate [inaudible 00:23:55] never go very far in life.

Dr Demartini:                23:57                And she didn't know what to say. She just kind of stared at me. And then finally she said that only a mother could say. She put her hand on my shoulder and she said, son, whether you become a great teacher [inaudible 00:24:07] philosopher and travel the world like you dream, whether you return to Hawaii and ride the giant waves like you've done or you go to the streets and panhandles as a bum as you've also done. I just want to let you know your father and I are going love you no matter what.

Dr Demartini:                24:19                And when she said, that is exactly what I needed to hear. When she said that, I had my [inaudible 00:24:25] into a fist. And I looked up and I saw that vision to me standing in front of a million people and it was just lucid again. And I said to myself, I'm going to master this thing reading, I'm going to master this thing studying, I'm going to master this thing learning and teaching, and I'm going to do whatever it takes, I'm going to travel whatever distance and pay whatever price to give my service of love across the planet.

Dr Demartini:                24:44                I'm not going to let any human being stopped me, not even myself. And it was just like no turning back moment. And I gave my mom a hug and I went into my room and I got a dictionary out [inaudible 00:24:56] dictionary and I started reading it. I made a commitment that I was going to memorize that book. And I couldn't get meaning out of words and I had spelling problems and my mom tested me on 30 words a day. So I would read the words alphabetically, check them off as I go, then spell them, put them in a sentence, made sure they had meaning, explain the meaning, definition, and if I did 30 of them perfectly, I could stop. If not had to go do it again until I get it perfect my mom and test me every day.

Dr Demartini:                25:24                And I've grew my vocabulary until I was able to pass school. And I started reading encyclopedias and dictionaries. I read eight complete sets, four multiple volume sets of encyclopedias to try to catch up with other kids. Because they were taking the school for granted. I was serious. And then I started excelling and I never stopped and about, not even a year later, not knowing, just weeks later I had some people come up to me and asked me to tell me what I'm learning in because I was so focused. And I started having my first students.

Dr Demartini:                25:57                Almost a year, I was just about to turn 19. My mom said, what do you want for your birthday and for Thanksgiving and Christmas? So I was born on Thanksgiving Day and I said mom wants greatest teachings on the face of the earth, the greatest writings humanity's ever created by the greatest minds from around the world. She said, you sure you don't want a T-shirt? I said, no, mom, I want the greatest teachings on planet earth, that's all.

Dr Demartini:                26:19                Well, she contacted her brother, who was a professor at MIT and a chemist and physicist, I think he worked for Shell Corporation. He sent as a gift two giant six by six by six foot wooden crates filled with thousands of books down to our home and with a crowbar, opened it up and I filled my room with books and had this little yoga mat in the center where I could face the sun in the morning. And I just sat and I started reading and learning those books with a dictionary. Any word I didn't know, I'd look up the word and memorize it. And I just started devouring book after book after book 18 to 20 hours a day.

Dr Demartini:                26:53                I just wanted to learn. And then the more I learn, the more I wanted to share and more people seem to want to know. So by the time I graduated from Wharton I had to students already developing. When I went to the University of Houston, I had 150 sometimes swell up to 400 people, but it used to a 100, 150 every day gathered around and asking questions out under these trees. And then when I went to professional school, I started teaching classes every night. I got to teach some of the classes I was supposed to take. And it just never stopped. I just kept doing and I guess I'm still doing it. I'm-

Kristina:                        27:25                You sure are.

Dr Demartini:                27:27                Haven't got enough of it. I guess I still love traveling and doing it.

Kristina:                        27:30                Yeah, that's amazing. When I did break through with you I was so impressed by the knowledge and it's so inspiring for our listeners to hear these because sometimes we are told that we are not good enough or whatever it is from teachers or parents or whatever they are peers. So this is super inspiring for everyone to hear.

Dr Demartini:                27:51                Anytime you live congruently by what you value most, your certainty, your confidence, your believe, your self worth, your clarity all go up. I've had people, I would have to say thousands of people that thought they had problems and thought they had laziness and sort of stuff, all those labels on them. And all those are subordinate to other people's labels and believing them. And I would go and find out what their life was really demonstrating that was truly important and help them structure it and a huge difference emerged. So I'm a firm believer that there's no such thing as a person that can't do something extraordinary. It's just a matter of getting congruent.

Kristina:                        28:33                Yeah. So inspiring, thank you. One of your books I absolutely love is You Can Have An Amazing Life In Just 60 Days featuring 60 inspiring laws to show how to live an amazing life. So we won't have time to go through all the 60 on this podcast unfortunately. But if you could just choose three laws or tips for our listeners right now to help them live an amazing life, what would they be?

Dr Demartini:                28:57                Identifying what's really, really important to you so you're not pursuing fantasies, because those are self defeating. Really, really getting clear and looking honestly at what your life demonstrates is important to you. And not comparing it to other people and honoring yourself. People compare themselves to others instead of compare their daily access to their own dreams. and then they judge themselves or judge others and distract themselves on futile, passionate flimsies to try to live in other people's values or getting other people live in their values. And that judgment undermines relationships.

Dr Demartini:                29:29                But the second you get really clear about what it is, then you give yourself permission to start structuring your life accordingly. Ask yourself really what is the highest priority thing I can be doing that can help me fulfill that and move one closer to that life? And not negating what's going on, but seeing it all on the way. Because it's all on the way. There's nothing, I've yet to see anything. I trained people in the breakthrough experience and show them that nothing's happening in their life except what's on the way. It's all feedback. And there's not a setback.

Dr Demartini:                29:58                And the moment they get a glimpse of that, they realize, oh, there's something to be grateful for. So documenting what they're grateful for every day. I have the largest collection of gratitude to [inaudible 00:30:08] it's 4,500 pages. And it's a 10 point print one inch margin document every day of what I'm grateful for. And people go, whoa, that's neurotic man.

Kristina:                        30:20                Yeah, it's amazing.

Dr Demartini:                30:20                I said no, what it does it gets a habit. Because my mom said when I was four, because I was born on Thanksgiving Day, when you're grateful for what you got, you get more to be grateful for. And I found that to be true. So I stop and I'm not saying that I stay grateful 24 hours a day because I do have buttons that get me some time, but I do have a ritual to stop and look at what was I able to do today and who did I get to meet and what I ... you're already in there. I already put your in there, the interview today.

Kristina:                        30:50                Aw, thank you.

Dr Demartini:                30:51                So I document that, because when you're grateful you're mind is more fluent and you're more likely to be congruent and more open and receptive to the synchronicities and the people, places, things, ideas and events that are there on the way, not anyway to help you achieve what it is you're dreaming. [inaudible 00:31:11] prioritizing and metricking also, keeping a record of what you say you want to do to see if you're doing it, to do one of two things. Either to acknowledge that you're on track or to find out what you can do to keep on track or to find out if it's really a fantasy and you're not really making effort towards it to rule those out and get clear about it.

Dr Demartini:                31:32                So metric, I would say if you really, really care about something, you want to metric it. You want to see what the progress is and those are important. And then realize to communicate what it is that is inspiring to you. Practice, communicating what is inspiring to you in a way that fulfills other people's lives. So you can then be able to be of service to people, earn an income doing what you love, so your vocation and vacation is the same. So you don't have Monday morning blues, Wednesday hump days, thank God it's Fridays and weak frigging ends running your life. Because that's what most people do. They go do a job that they don't love to make money to go and escape and blow the money on the escapism. But then they have to go back to a job they don't want and they have a schizophrenic life.

Kristina:                        32:09                Yeah, absolutely love that. I have gotten so much out of your wisdom over the years, but one thing I've heard you speak on recently is there is never a setback and you mentioned it before or challenge without an opportunity. This is really something that resonates with me as I'm such a huge believer in the fact that every cloud has a silver lining. But I would love you to explain this a little.

Dr Demartini:                32:32                Yup. Well, if you were striving for a one sided coin, a heads without a tails or a one sided magnet a positive without a negative. And your self worth was based on how many magnets or coins you could accumulate. You would never be able to accumulate any because you'd be wanting to get rid of half of what you're searching for. And many people are doing that with their life. They're trying to get rid of half of themselves instead of embracing both sides of themselves. See, I learned a long time ago, over 34 years ago now that I don't need to get rid of any part of myself. I'm not interested in a one sided life. I think the perfection of life is the balance of opposites. So I'm not a kind person or a cruel person, but I have times when I can be kind and cruel.

Dr Demartini:                33:14                I'm not the saint in the sinner, I'm the virtual I'm the vice, I'm the hero I'm the villain. I'm everything and nothing is missing. I always say at the level of the existence or the essence of the soul, there's nothing missing and I said the level of the existence of the senses we think there are things missing in us and we live in those perceptions of emptiness because we're trying to get rid of half of ourselves. And there's nothing to get rid of. There's something to honor within all aspects of yourself. And if we do that, we open up the doorways of appreciation for ourselves.

Dr Demartini:                33:45                So I just don't try to one [inaudible 00:33:48] myself because if we strive for a one sided life, a futility occurs. The Buddhist says the desire for that which is unavailable and the desire to avoid that which is unavoidable, is the source of human suffering. And we strive for this one sided outcome, kind without cruel, nice without mean, positive without negative. And we expect everybody else to do it and we expect the world to do that. And the world is always got a pair of opposites. And when you finally embrace it, you have magnetism and you have worth.

Dr Demartini:                34:14                I try to tell people there's nothing to get rid of you, there's a perfection inside you that you're not honoring it and you classify to perfection as a one sided pull that's not obtainable. And you're futilely going after something passionate and like an animal to one side, trying to avoid the predator and seek to prey inside yourself. And you're judging yourself constantly and you're comparing it to some outside morals, exogenous morals out there that may not even be real. And I tend to give people permission to love all parts of themselves because people want to be loved for all sides.

Dr Demartini:                34:45                And so, give yourself permission to be you. I'm very grateful to be all those things. Sometimes I'm honest, sometimes I'm dishonest, sometimes I'm kind, I'm cruel, I'm considerate, inconsiderate and they say what? You should be one side. Well, I'm not, and no matter how hard I've tried, I still have both sides. So I gave up on the futility of trying to get rid of half of me and allowed me to be me. And I found out that when I was playing both sides, I still served other people and that was a big freeing point to try to help people realize it. No matter what you've done or not done, you're worthy of love.

Kristina:                        35:19                Yeah. This will be so good for our listeners thank you so much. So, often I'm asked by people how I live a balanced life, and I've heard you travel something like 360 days a year around the globe, which seems a little bit crazy to me. I travel a lot, but nothing like that. And yet you appear so grounded and calm. What would be your answer to people who ask how to live a grounded, balanced life?

Dr Demartini:                35:44                I think of it this way. I live in a big house.

Kristina:                        35:46                I love that, I've heard you say that.

Dr Demartini:                35:46                Big freaking house. And I've said that the universe is my playground, the world is my home. Every country is a room in the house, every city is a platform and I get to share my heart and soul. So instead of working at some office somewhere, driving in some traffic somewhere, going to a house, parking a good car in the garage, coming inside the house, honey I'm home and kicking the dog, tell the kids what to do. This kind of stuff. That has no interest to me. That reality doesn't make any sense to me. I like to think of it as that I live in a huge house, I'm never away from the people I love. We all live in a big house. I don't need to drive somewhere to do it, I may fly, can Skype because it's a vehicle for expression, right? Like as if you're right there. I have a different perspective. I don't perceive things of I gained this or I lost that. I don't find that, I would say a master lives in a world of transformation [inaudible 00:36:47] illusions of gain and loss.

Dr Demartini:                36:48                So I don't lose people if they're gone. I look for the new form in which they're manifesting in my life and I honored the new form with resilience and I trained my kids to do that. And they're pretty resilient because we have a jet set life. I caught my daughter's in Florida and I'll catch my son in Houston, I have to catch my other daughters in LA in a few days. And [inaudible 00:37:10] so we have a global family. that people go, what? That's crazy. It's not to me. I haven't driven a car in 29 and a half years. I don't have a cell phone. I don't cook. The last time I cooked, I was 24.

Dr Demartini:                37:24                Anything that does not absolutely inspire to me, I've delegated to other people. And I let the people who love doing it do it. Because they deserve to do it. It helps the economy that way. And I helps me go produce so I can serve more. My kids are free to do what they love and create the life they want and they're doing it. And I always say that they came through me, not to me, that I don't own them. I participated in and I think it was about a two minute experience actually. They ended up manifesting and they have their own lives. But I love them. So there's no question about that. You'd never convince anybody they don't love their kids, but I don't have this a nine to five type of existence. That's never been an interest of mine.

Dr Demartini:                38:08                And people go, well, what about this? Where's your roots? Earth. And even that's questionable. Because I've participated in the Ansari Prize for SpaceShipOne to go into space and so now SpaceShipTwo is ready to go. So I'm okay with that. I'm ready to go, go and visit other space. And I've always been, from very young age I've been traveling. I started traveling I was three. My parents used to say, stay in the yard now. And the second they weren't looking off I went. I was riding my bicycle 35 miles when I was nine years old, different directions. When 12 I was hopping trains to different cities. 13 I was hitchhiking to different cities. 14 I hitchhiked across America and throughout Mexico. So I've been traveling most of my life. Because I always say the world is my home.

Kristina:                        38:56                I love that.

Dr Demartini:                38:57                But I can be in Sydney, I'll be in Belfast or I'll be in Dublin in a few and I leave tomorrow for it, and then I'll be in London and I'll be in LA and then Las Vegas and then I'll be in South Africa.

Kristina:                        39:08                So I always, when I sit next to pilots sometimes on planes, I always ask what the key is to no jet lag. But you don't feel it?

Dr Demartini:                39:15                I don't get jet lag.

Kristina:                        39:15                Wow.

Dr Demartini:                39:16                I delegate that. I let [inaudible 00:39:19] have that. I don't have time for that.

Kristina:                        39:22                You do delegate it too. I'd love to know.

Dr Demartini:                39:22                I don't have time for that. I'm too busy doing what I love to focus on that. If you get present, see the more you're living by what your highest value is, the more present you are. And the more present you are, the less you have the swings of perceptions of time. It's not about living in the past or living in the future more present. I guess jet lag requires time. I choose, I just do that.

Kristina:                        39:45                I'll take a note on that one. That's fantastic. I love to finish up asking you a few quick questions that I know our listeners will love to hear your answer form. If you could give one piece of advice to the next generation to help them live their dream life, what would you say?

Dr Demartini:                39:58                Honoring the truth about what's really truly inspiring to you, give yourself permission to be your true self. Give yourself permission to honor what's really meaningful to you. So many people are worried about conforming and fitting in instead of standing out. And it's interesting, I asked, I was at Krugersdorp prison in South Africa speaking to a thousand inmates in a maximum security prison three stories underground, all orange uniforms. These are the 25 year to life sentence people. And I asked them no matter what you've been through, no matter what you're going through, no matter what's happened in your life, how many of you still want to make a difference in the world? Every hand went up.

Dr Demartini:                40:33                So it's innate within us to want to be unique and stand out and contribute and make a difference. So that way we do it is not by fitting in. We fit in and we dilute our potential of individuality and expression. And we divide ourselves up by trying to judge ourselves and other people all the time. And as Emerson says, envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide. We're not here to envy somebody and imitate him we're here to be yourself. Because the second we minimize ourselves to somebody else we'll judge somebody else downward. I learned that we never look somebody up unless we look at their opposite as downward. And we're caught in judgments and anything we judge above or below us, occupy space and time within us and runs us.

Dr Demartini:                41:14                And then we're run from the outer exogenous world instead of him intrinsically from what's meaningful and most inspiring. So finding out what we value most and prioritizing your life and focusing on that and doing it in a way that is a contribution to other people in their values, not changing their values is the most meaningful, productive, profitable, inspiring, and present life. So I just tell people to do that, work towards that.

Kristina:                        41:40                Yeah. Perfect. Thank you so much. What are some of the daily habits or rituals that you practice and enable you to stay focused and live your dream life?

Dr Demartini:                41:48                Well, my simple, I don't live to eat I eat to live. I prioritize food. So what I do is ... I just had a salad of carrot, broccoli, some various greens, canoa, rice, bits of chicken, some herbs on it. I had some yogurt this morning and some fruit and tonight I'll probably have some fish and some vegetables. I eat pretty well. So I eat well. I drink water. I don't drink. I haven't had soft drinks. I haven't had coffee. I have had three cups of coffee my entire life. So I don't drink coffee, I don't drink stimulants, I don't drink alcohol. I just drink water. Because to me I want a universal solvent that is the most stabilizing component. Because any volatility kind of distract and shortens lifespans. So I just drink a lot of water. I do a little exercise each morning. Nothing major I'm not a gym freak, but I do a little exercise and stretching every day. I'm going up 65. So I'm doing pretty good for energy compared to most people.

Kristina:                        42:50                Absolutely.

Dr Demartini:                42:51                And then I get to work and I'm either doing, I'm speaking during the day, I'm doing interviews, I'm doing consults, I'm writing articles, I'm doing media interviews or filming for documentaries or movies or something. And I'm teaching every day, or I'm traveling. And when I'm traveling, I'm usually researching and writing, or I'm resting if I have to get rest. So I got a very kind of simple system. I don't waver too much from that I'm kind-

Kristina:                        43:20                Super inspired.

Dr Demartini:                43:21                You can rely on me to be doing that.

Kristina:                        43:22                Fantastic. Thank you. Just last couples ones. I don't know how familiar you're with kikki.K, so if you're have you you a kikki.K favorite product or have you got a favorite stationery product that you use?

Dr Demartini:                43:35                I don't carry stationery around usually the hotels have that. I'll sometimes use cards that go out to people as you know, and then I'll be using the stationery, but I'm really pretty simple guy. I'll make notes. In fact, there's a priority note sitting on that desk right there. If you look, you'll see there's a little sheet. It's got a bunch of things and I'm checking them off as I go and I'll use that on the notepad. I brought my computer for doing most everything I do, although it's downstairs right now at my seminar room. my ritual is, my gratitudes are usually by emails or person. I don't do a lot of ... I don't have a phone like I said. So I'm-

Kristina:                        44:15                Perfect.

Dr Demartini:                44:16                I'm simple guy.

Kristina:                        44:16                Yeah. And that's nice. I'm particularly interested to know as I'm a avid reader and I will love to know your favorite book and why.

Dr Demartini:                44:25                People ask me that. In fact, a guy asked today because I had the blessing to read 30,230 books now.

Kristina:                        44:31                Wow.

Dr Demartini:                44:32                I do a lot of reading as you can imagine.

Kristina:                        44:34                That is very impressive.

Dr Demartini:                44:36                So the favorite books that I tell people that is wise to devour is actually there are two volumes by Mortimer Adler called Syntopicon in volumes one and two. S-Y-N-T-O-P-I-C-O-N volumes one and two. And what it is is the greatest minds over the last 2,700 years discussing the greatest, most prioritized ideas that affect human beings. And summarizing the synthesis of their ideas into a beautifully articulative, syncretic clear summary. It's syntopic and then it covers the most important topics that a human being could face. I would consider it if you really understand those two volumes, it's like a PhD in life.

Kristina:                        45:26                Wow.

Dr Demartini:                45:26                So I recommend people to read that and almost to all my students have said, get those two books, read those two books as an overview about life.

Kristina:                        45:35                Great. Thank you. Will link to them in the show notes. One final question for you. If you could go back to your younger self, say when you're in your late teens, what advice would you have given yourself knowing what you know now?

Dr Demartini:                45:48                I wouldn't change a thing. I'd say go for it. You're on track, man. I always say that you're never off track, you just think you are, and the only time you think you are is when you compare your actions to somebody else's values. You judge yourself when you compare your actions to other people's values and you judge others when you project your values onto their actions. If you honor your own actions through your own values, you'll have gratitude daily because you'll realize that you made the decision wisely and you only judged it as unwisely when you compared it to what you thought you should have done based on some authoritative values.

Dr Demartini:                46:21                So just honor yourself. Appreciate yourself. I wouldn't change anything. I don't have any [inaudible 00:46:25]. I don't ever think, oh, I wish I'd done this. I should've done that. I don't live like that. Every one of those [inaudible 00:46:32] people go, you think you should share that part of your life? I go, it's part of my life. It's who I am. Oh, what will people think? I don't care. I'm not worried about that. That's what made me me, I'm grateful for me. And so there's nothing I needed to change about it.

Kristina:                        46:46                That it's a perfect way of ending this super inspiring episode. Thank you so much and thank you for all that you do to the world. I encourage every person listening to this to see you live. I have never seen anything like it in terms of-

Dr Demartini:                46:58                Don't wait til I'm dead.

Kristina:                        47:00                No, you're going to live forever. And I think it's so inspiring to see you and also the knowledge you have is just incredible and super inspiring and I'm very grateful and I look forward to seeing many more seminars and webinars or whatever you're doing in the future. So thank you so much for taking your time.

Dr Demartini:                47:16                Thank you so much, I appreciate it.

Kristina:                        47:16                Thank you.

Dr Demartini:                47:16                Thank you.

Kristina:                        47:21                Wow. What an inspiring chat, such amazing advice on how we should all stop comparing ourselves to others and start living a life more aligned with what we value the most. I could honestly listen to Dr. Demartini for hours and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. One of the most vital messages I took from our chat was how important is to discover our core values. By really getting to know ourselves and understanding what truly inspires and drives us. We can then make decisions to live a life in accordance with this, rather than letting someone else decide what is the most important to us.

Kristina:                        47:59                I believe so strongly in this and I have been so inspired by Dr. Demartini's teaching that my book, Your Dream Life Starts Here you'll find chapters dedicated to finding out who you are and how to be guided by what you truly value. If you haven't got a copy yet, I encourage you to do so as it is full of essential and simple steps to help you on your journey of uncovering your values and chasing your dreams, whatever they may be. And also grab a copy of the Dream Life journal I have created to go with it.

Kristina:                        48:30                Another great place to start is to check out my 101 dreams audio guide at kikki-k.com/dream life. If you love this episode, don't forget to subscribe for plenty more inspiration. And please tell us what you thought by leaving us a review. I would really appreciate your support with my big crazy dream to inspire 101 million people to write down three dreams on some paper, and then go and chase them.

Kristina:                        48:56                So please help us spread this inspiring message to even more people by sharing our podcast on social media with the #101milliondreamers. Until next time, don't forget to dream big and chase your dreams.


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