#454 - The Calm You Need to Build the Life You Want
Hi there, and welcome back to another episode.
Before we dive in, I want you to pause for just a moment and take one deep breath.
[Yes, go ahead and do it... 😊]
That small act is actually at the heart of what today’s episode is all about.
In this episode, we'll explore something I believe is deeply misunderstood when it comes to creating a brilliant life.
We've be conditioned to think it’s about 'doing more', 'pushing harder', or 'figuring everything out as quickly as possible'.
But what if the real key is something much quieter?
Today, I’m talking about the role of calm. The role of presence. And what it really means to be fully here while you are building your dream life.
From my own experience, especially during very challenging times in business and life, I realised something powerful.
We can become so focused on creating our future that we forget to actually live our lives in the present.
In this episode, I share four key takeaways:
- Why calm is not something you earn later, but something you need now
- How presence can actually make you more productive and effective
- The hidden patterns that keep us stuck in constant busyness
- Simple daily practices to help you feel more grounded and in control
If you’ve ever felt like you’re always rushing, always thinking about what’s next, or never quite feeling present in your own life, this episode is for you.
As always, I’d LOVE to hear what resonated most with you - so please share and let’s keep the conversation going in the Dream Life Podcast Facebook Group here.
Have a wonderful weekend …and remember, it all starts with a dream 💛
KK
Dream Life & kikki.K Founder
P.S. If you’re ready for guided support, it's a brilliant month to start with me as your mentor in Dream Life Coaching.
SHOW NOTES:
- Buy Kristina's book, Your Dream Life Starts Here
- Buy a Daily Wins Journal.
- Follow Kristina on Insta and TikTok
- If you feel it's time to take a leap and invest in you, join:
- My Platinum Coaching Program where in April our focus will be on Owning Your Mornings and Transforming Your Life - with a Morning Ritual. Learn more here.
- My Dream Business Book Club here. In April, we'll be reading and learning from:
The 1 Page Marketing Plan, by Allan Dib. Whether just starting out - or an experienced entrepreneur - this is the easiest & fastest way to create a marketing plan to propel your business growth.
- My online personal Growth Book Club GROW, April, where we'll be reading and squeezing the learnings out of Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World, by Cal Newport
-
Dream Life Community Facebook Group: Connect with like-minded dreamers.
RESOURCES:
- Sign up to our email list here to hear about upcoming workshops.
- Take your first step to getting clarity on what you want from life with this free bonus dreaming exercise here 101 Dreams Audio Guide
- Buy Kristina's book, Your Dream Life Starts Here
- Discover how close you are to living your Dream Life. Take our 5min Quiz here and get personalised insights emailed to you...
TRANSCRIPT:
Hi there, and welcome back to Your Dream Life podcast. I am so glad you are here. Whether you are listening on a walk, in your car, doing the dishes, or wherever you are right now, I want you to take one breath before we begin. Just one. Breathe in and breathe out.
That matters more than you might think, and it is exactly what today’s episode is about.
Today, I want to talk about something I believe is one of the most misunderstood parts of building a dream life. It is the role of calm, the role of presence, and the importance of truly being here while you are creating the life you want.
What I have noticed in myself, and in so many women I work with, is that we become incredibly good at chasing our dream life. We are brilliant at planning it, talking about it, and thinking about it. All of that is important. But somewhere along the way, we forget to actually live it.
We are building the life, but we are not in it while we are building it. And I think that is worth an honest conversation.
A few years ago, when the business I had built for over 20 years was going through one of its hardest periods, I found myself in a very strange state. I was working harder than ever, thinking constantly, planning and problem solving from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to sleep.
Yet I had never felt less like myself.
I remember sitting at the dinner table with my family, but not really being there. My body was present, but my mind was elsewhere, trying to solve problems that could not be solved in that moment.
At the time, I believed the urgency was justified. I thought that if I could just push through and fix everything, then I would be able to relax and be present again.
But that is not how it works.
What I have come to understand is this. Calm is not the reward for finishing the work. Calm is how you do the work well.
I want to repeat that. Calm is not the reward for finishing the work. Calm is how you do the work well.
Most of us have been taught that presence is something we earn. That we can slow down once everything is done, once life is under control, once we are on top of things.
But what if that is completely backwards?
What if presence is not the reward at the end, but the mechanism that makes everything possible in the first place?
When you are present, your thinking becomes clearer. Your decisions become easier. You notice opportunities, ideas, and moments that you would otherwise miss.
Presence is not about doing less. It is about removing the mental noise that slows everything down.
When you are distracted, jumping between thoughts, or constantly thinking ahead, you actually become less effective. You repeat the same thoughts, delay decisions, and end the day feeling exhausted without knowing why.
But when you are fully present, everything changes.
Your thinking becomes focused. Your actions become more intentional. And your life starts to feel more meaningful.
I truly believe that presence is one of the highest leverage skills you can develop.
So why is it so hard?
One reason is that we often equate busyness with progress. If we are rushing and overwhelmed, we feel like we are doing something important.
But busyness is not the same as momentum.
Another reason is that many of us are running a constant background program of anxiety. We are always thinking about what might go wrong or what we have not done yet.
This means we are never fully present, because part of us is always somewhere else.
And finally, many women are doing this work alone, without a supportive community. When the noise in your head is the only voice you hear, it becomes harder to find clarity.
So what can we do?
I want to share a few simple practices.
The first is the morning question. Before you check your phone or start your day, ask yourself, what is the one thing I could do today that would make everything else easier?
Focus on that one thing first.
The second is the two minute transition. Between tasks, take two minutes to pause, breathe, and reset. Ask yourself, where am I right now, and where do I want to be?
This helps you avoid carrying stress from one moment into the next.
The third is the evening review. Ask yourself three questions. What were my three wins today? What am I grateful for? What would I do differently?
This helps you close the day and be present in your evening.
And finally, the most important practice is simply noticing when you have drifted and gently bringing yourself back.
No judgment. Just awareness.
Every time you do that, you are building the ability to truly live your life.
Because your dream life cannot be built from a state of constant noise and exhaustion. Not in a way that feels good.
I have seen women achieve everything they thought they wanted, only to feel nothing when they got there. Not joy, just relief.
And that is heartbreaking.
Because the dream was never the problem. The problem was that they were never present enough to feel it.
Presence is not a break from your dream life. It is how you live it.
So my invitation to you this week is simple. Choose one of these practices and try it. Just for this week.
And notice what shifts.
If this resonates with you, I would love to invite you to explore this deeper through DL Coaching at https://www.yourdreamlifestartshere.com/course.
Thank you so much for being here. It truly means the world to me.
You are already the person capable of creating the life you want. The work is simply to be present enough to experience it.
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