#488 - Is It Time to Give Yourself Permission to Create a Life You Love?

As always, I'd LOVE to hear the one dream you are choosing to move towards this week.

Have a wonderful week ...and remember, it all starts with a dream.

Enjoy!

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TRANSCRIPT:

Hi there, and welcome back to another episode of the Your Dream Life podcast. I am so glad you are here today. Wherever you are listening from, perhaps you are on a walk, in the car, folding washing or sitting down with a cup of tea, thank you so much for spending the next few minutes with me.

I want to talk about something that has been on my mind lately. It is something I have noticed again and again, in conversation after conversation, and I could not let it go. I decided to record this episode because I have a feeling it might be affecting you too.

Over the last few months, I have had the joy of meeting so many amazing people. If you are a frequent listener, you might know that I love travelling and meeting inspiring people. I do a lot of keynote speaking, run workshops and coach, and through all of that I meet so many unbelievable people.

Some of the people I have met recently were at events I attended or speaking engagements. I met some over coffee, while others reached out and shared a little of their story with me. Some joined the program. Every month, when new people join, we have a kind of kick-off call. They are different ages and at different stages of life, and they all have different dreams.

As I met them, I started to notice a pattern. The same thing kept coming up. At first I could not quite name it, but then it became very clear.

All the women I met were amazing in their own right. They were thoughtful, driven and wonderful people. They had amazing ideas. They wanted to belong and be part of a community. Many of them lit up when they talked about what they really wanted for their lives.

Here is what got me. Many of them already knew. They knew what they wanted, or at the very least, they knew what they did not want. They could tell me quite easily which parts of life felt off, what they had outgrown and the direction they did not want to keep drifting in.

Not knowing was not really the problem. The problem was something else, and it was truly a little heartbreaking to me. They had not given themselves permission.

Permission to want it. Permission to move towards it. Permission to create a life they truly love, their dream life, whatever that means to each individual.

I find that so sad because it is your life. It really is. You are allowed to want whatever you want, and you are allowed to want more from it.

Let me say it again because I want you to really hear it. It is your life. It is not your parents' idea of your life, the life your friends may expect or the version that made sense to you ten years ago. It is yours.

Somewhere along the way, so many of us pick up the belief that we need permission to change or want more. We start to believe that wanting a bigger, richer or more meaningful life is selfish or unrealistic, or something we will get to later.

So we wait. We wait to feel ready. We wait for the perfect moment. We wait until the children are older, work calms down, or we have more time, money or certainty. Then a year passes, followed by another and another.

I understand this so well because I have felt it too. When I first came to Australia many years ago, I felt completely lost. I had no clear plan. I did not know what my thing in life was going to be. What helped me was not waiting until I had it all worked out.

What helped me was sitting down with a pen and paper and writing what really mattered to me. I happened to do this at three in the morning. I do not recommend three in the morning. It is much better to do it at six or eight, so you can have a beautiful coffee or cup of tea beside you.

What I wrote down at three in the morning were the dreams that would not let me sleep. I did not have permission from anyone. I gave it to myself. That one decision to let myself dream on paper, without limits, changed the whole direction of my life.

When I meet amazing people who already know what they want but will not let themselves reach for it, I want to tell them that they do not need to wait for someone else to allow it. You can give yourself permission today.

I want to be clear about something because this really matters. Giving yourself permission does not mean doing everything at once. It does not mean quitting your job tomorrow, turning your whole life upside down or pretending you have no responsibilities.

That is not what I am saying at all.

Life has seasons, and the season you are in right now is real. Perhaps you are not well at the moment and your energy needs to go towards getting better. That is right and good for now. Perhaps you have young children and your days are full in a way only a parent understands. That is a beautiful, demanding season, and it will not last forever.

Perhaps you are caring for someone, or you are simply tired and this year has asked a lot of you. I am not asking you to ignore any of that. The timing for certain dreams may not be right yet. Some things may need to wait for a different season, and that is completely all right.

Here is what I really want you to know. You can still dream and take small steps towards that dream, even now, in a full season or a hard one.

Dreaming and doing are not the same as dropping everything. You can hold a dream lightly in one hand while you live your real life with the other. You can write it down, keep it warm and take one tiny step this month, then another next month.

Dreams have a quality I have seen again and again. Once you name them and put them on paper, they start to pull you forward. Consciously and without even realising it, you begin to take steps towards them.

None of that can begin until you let yourself want it. That is the whole thing. It is not the plan, the how or the perfect conditions. It is permission.

If you are wondering where to point all of this, let me help you.

When I talk about a life you love, I am not talking about a life that simply looks good from the outside. I am talking about a life that feels good on the inside, a life built around you, what you are passionate about and what gives you real meaning.

Here is a lovely place to start. Ask yourself: What lights me up? What could I talk about for hours? What was I doing the last time I completely lost track of time?

Those are not small clues. They are breadcrumbs leading you towards the things that matter most to you.

When your days hold more of what you are passionate about, everything feels different. You have more energy. You feel more like yourself. Life feels more colourful.

Underneath your passions sit your values, the things you care about most deeply. These could be family, freedom, creativity, health, contribution or adventure. Yours will be your own.

I have come to believe that knowing your values is one of the most useful things you can ever do because your values help you decide. When you are clear on what you truly value, life gets simpler. You know what to say yes to and, just as importantly, perhaps even more importantly, you know what to say no to.

So much of feeling stretched and scattered comes from saying yes to things that do not actually matter to us. When you know your values, you can let those things go without guilt and give your time to what truly counts for you.

Then there is purpose. Purpose can be a big word, and I do not want it to feel heavy. I think it is really simple. It is a sense of why, a reason your days matter and something bigger than getting through the week.

When you have even a little clarity on your purpose, mornings change. It becomes easier to get out of bed because you are getting up for something that matters to you. You do not have to have it all worked out.

Purpose often reveals itself slowly as you follow your passions and honour your values, one step at a time. But I promise you this: a life built on what you love, guided by what you value and pointed towards something that gives you meaning is a life worth getting out of bed for. It is available to you. You simply have to let yourself want it.

Let me make this practical. I want to give you three simple permissions you can give yourself today. You could even write them down.

Permission number one is permission to want what you want, without justifying it, explaining it to anyone or needing it to be sensible or impressive. If part of you lights up at a certain idea, that matters. You do not have to earn the right to want a good, exciting and fun life.

You are allowed to want it simply because it is yours to live. Ask yourself today: What do I really want at this stage of my life? What do I know, deep down, that I do not want anymore?

Both are clues, and both are worth writing down.

Permission number two is permission to begin before you feel ready. This is a big one because clarity does not come first, followed by action. It is the other way around. Action creates clarity.

You can take one small step, and then the next becomes clearer. You try something and learn something. You move and the fog lifts a little.

If you wait until you feel completely ready, you may wait forever. Ready is not a feeling that arrives. It is something that grows once you begin. You do not need the whole plan. You need one small step and, as I always say here, progress, not perfection.

Permission number three is permission to dream in this season, whatever season it is. Even if the timing is not right for the big leap, life is really full, or you can only give this five minutes, you are allowed to dream now and act later. You can keep the dream alive while tending to what is in front of you.

Dreaming is not a luxury for when life calms down. It is the steady engine that keeps you moving towards a life you love, one small step at a time.

I know this because when I lost my business, I had new dreams and could not make them happen straight away. But I was clear on my dreams. I could take small actions, plan and get excited.

There they are: permission to want it, permission to begin and permission to dream in your season. Notice that not one asks you to change everything overnight. Every one is available to you today, exactly where you are now.

I want to talk about two things that make all of this possible: courage and support.

Let us talk about courage first. Giving yourself permission takes courage. Naming a dream aloud takes courage. Taking the first small step before you feel ready takes courage.

Courage is not the absence of fear. It is feeling unsure and choosing to take a step anyway. It is often much smaller and more ordinary than we think. It could be one brave email, one brave conversation or one brave decision to begin.

You do not need to be fearless. You only need to be a little braver than your excuses, one step at a time.

Here is the second thing, and it might be the most important of all. You are not meant to do this alone.

I have seen this over and over. The people who keep moving towards their dreams are almost never the people with the most time, the most money or the least on their plate. They are the ones with support. They are surrounded by people who believe in their dreams, cheer them on, gently hold them accountable and remind them to start again when they wobble.

Of course, we all wobble. We all fall off track. That is part of being human. What makes the difference is having somewhere to return to and people who welcome you back.

I know this for sure because when I started my first business, I was around other people who were starting businesses. This is the reason I created the Dream Life Coaching program.

It is not a quick fix or a magic wand. It is a warm, supportive community of like-minded and inspiring women walking the same path together over twelve months, getting clear on their dreams, taking courageous and consistent action, and doing it with real support around them.

I am not going to make a big sell of it here because that is not what today is about. I mention it because, if the hardest part for you has been doing this on your own, I want you to know that a place like that exists. When the time is right for you, I am here.

I only want you in the program if it is right for you. Dreams grow faster and last longer when we stop trying to build them alone.

I want you to picture something with me. Imagine it is one year from now.

In one version, nothing has changed. You are still busy, still telling yourself you will get to it later and still carrying the same longing. It is a little heavier because another year has passed and you did not let yourself begin.

I am not saying that to make you feel bad. I say it because I have watched that slow drift cost women years of their one and only life, and it is so unnecessary.

Now picture the other version. A year from now, you gave yourself permission, not to do everything, but to begin. You wrote your dreams down. You took one small step and then another. You are more grounded, you feel more alive and, most importantly, you are moving.

The difference between those two futures is not talent, time or luck. It is permission.

You decide which future you walk towards. You are in the driver's seat. You always have been.

Before I go, I want to leave you with one thing to do. Find a still moment today, just for you. Perhaps make a cup of tea and open a page in your journal. If you do not have a journal, use the notes on your phone if that is what is available. As you probably know, I always encourage you to put pen to paper.

Ask yourself my two favourite questions: What would I do if I knew I could not fail? What would I do with my life if I had all the time and money I needed?

Write down whatever comes. Do not edit it and do not worry about how. Let yourself dream the way you did when you were young and the whole world felt open.

When you have your list, choose one dream, just one, and write down one small step you could take towards it in the next twenty-four hours. Make it tiny and make it real. That is you giving yourself permission, and that is where it begins.

If you can, share that one dream with a person who will cheer you on. Everything we have talked about today gets easier the moment you stop carrying it alone.

Sometimes we do not have people close to us who support our dreams, especially if they find those dreams difficult or challenging, or their opinion is different from ours. If you do not have that person, I am here, and you can share it with me.

Lastly, remember that this is your life. You are allowed to want more from it, and you do not need anyone else's permission to begin, except perhaps your own.

Give it to yourself today. Dream big, write it down and take one small step. As always, I am cheering you on, and if you need support, I am here for you.

If you are not sure whether you want to be part of our program, you can book a fifteen-minute chat with me. You will find it at yourdreamlifestartshere.com. We can have a chat, and I will point you in the direction I believe is right for you because that is what I want for you.

As always, I will be back on Monday with another Monday Motivation episode. I will see you then.