#490 - A Different Way to Create a Life You Love

What if the reason your dream life still feels out of reach is not a lack of ambition, but a lack of space?

In this episode, I share why I stepped away from the podcast for two weeks and what that pause reminded me about energy, time and the way we so often put ourselves last.

Hope it resonates.

Dream Life & kikki.K Founder

PS: If you would like support turning your dreams into practical action, explore Dream Life Coaching at https://www.yourdreamlifestartshere.com/course

SHOW NOTES:

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RESOURCES:

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TRANSCRIPT:

Hi there, and welcome back to another episode of Your Dream Life Podcast. I am Kristina Karlsson, and I want to start today by saying that I have missed you. I also want to say I am sorry for being away for the last couple of weeks. In all the time I have been doing this podcast, I have only missed two weeks before this, so it felt very strange.

The truth is that there was simply too much going on. I was also unwell, and when I looked at everything I had to get done, I knew I had to let something go. In the end, it was the podcast that had to come off my very long list. I want to share that because it is something so many of us do not talk about. We are very good at telling other people to look after themselves, but we are not always very good at doing that ourselves. That includes me.

What I did not expect was how many messages I would receive. So many of you wrote to ask if I was okay, and so many of you said you really needed the episode and hoped I would come back. I cannot tell you how much that meant to me. It reminded me exactly why I do this. Although I did not want to miss those weeks, your messages were such a beautiful confirmation. Thank you for listening and for being part of this Dream Life community.

While I was resting, I had time to think. When you are unwell and lying there, unable to do very much, you really think. I thought about my life, not in a hurry this time, and about what I want to do and give to the world with the time I have. Today I want to share a few things that came from that thinking. My hope is that by the end of this episode, creating a life you love feels a little easier, lighter and more inspiring. Grab a pen if you can. I have a question for you at the end.

I see one pattern over and over. I meet hundreds of women when I speak, run workshops, work with women inside Dream Life Coaching and host my book clubs. Again and again, I see that we fill our days right to the brim. Every hour is spoken for and almost nothing is left for the things that matter most to us.

I think this is simple to fix, but not easy to fix. There is a difference. Most of us have to work. Most of us are looking after someone: children, parents, a partner, a team or a business. Hopefully, you are also looking after your physical, emotional and mental health, as well as the relationships that matter to you. Of course, all of that takes time. But I do not think it explains all of our exhaustion. I think there are other things we have stopped noticing because they feel so normal.

I do not know the details of your life, and I would never pretend to. But I see these four things again and again. See whether any of them land for you.

Number one: we put everyone and everything before ourselves. We get to ourselves last, if there is anything left. By the time everyone else has been fed, driven, answered and helped, the day is gone and we have nothing left to give. We are very generous with our best energy. We give it to work, family, the inbox and everyone who needs something. Then we try to build our own life from the scraps, the last twenty minutes when we are too tired to think.

Your dream life cannot be built on leftovers. Nothing meaningful can be built from the most tired part of your day. Move yourself up the list, even if only by a few places, so some of your good energy stays with you. For me, that is my morning. It is the first part of the day before anyone needs me. It means a walk, journalling, a coffee and time to think. I protect it as I would protect a meeting with someone important, because it is a meeting with someone important.

Where in your week do you receive some of your own best energy, while you still have it? If the answer is nowhere, that is worth knowing and worth changing.

Number two: we become so busy with everyday life that we forget to live our life. We get very good at running the days, but the days are the life. The washing, school run, emails, groceries and calendar all need doing. Then days become weeks, weeks become months and a year passes. You look up and can hardly remember what was in it.

Many of us spend more time planning our next holiday than planning our life. We research flights, compare hotels, read reviews and make restaurant lists. I love a good holiday and plan mine properly. Holidays are part of a dream life. But we give two weeks of the year that level of care and let the other fifty weeks happen to us. Your life deserves at least as much planning as your holiday. It deserves the same pen, care and question: what do I actually want this to look like?

Number three: we fill any spare time with quick hits. When we find ten minutes on the couch, five minutes in the car or a small window before bed, we reach for the phone. Instagram, TikTok, email, news, messages and one quick scroll after another. I do it too. It feels good in the moment because it is designed to feel good in the moment. Then we put the phone down and feel slightly worse, flatter, more tired and further from ourselves.

An hour of that adds nothing to your life, and it does not leave you rested. The hour simply disappears. Yet those gaps are exactly where part of your dream life could be built: ten minutes with a journal, one phone call to someone who could help, or twenty minutes writing down what you want.

I will spare you a lecture about deleting apps and living in a cabin. Instead, choose one small swap. Pick one gap in your day and put something there that gives something back. It might be a walk, ten pages of a book, a few pages of journalling, a few dreams, a conversation or five minutes of thinking with your phone in another room. One gap. That is the whole exercise.

Number four: most of us never sit down and ask what our dream life looks like. If I asked what you would do if you could create your dream life, what would you say? Many women pause, offer something small and safe, or laugh because the question feels uncomfortable to take seriously as a grown woman with responsibilities.

We have been taught to be realistic and sensible, and somewhere in all that sensibleness, we stopped letting ourselves want things. On the rare occasion someone lets herself imagine, the dream can feel so big and far from where she stands that she has no idea where to begin. She closes the book and tells herself, one day. Maybe when the children are older, when work calms down or next year.

I understand that completely, but you do not need to know how. When I started kikki.K, I had no idea how it would happen. I had a dream, a pen and one next step. That is all a dream needs from you at the beginning. One step you can take this week is enough to count.

The how comes later. It comes from starting, from the people you meet and from what you learn while doing. Clarity arrives once you move. Write the dream down first and worry about the how afterwards. This matters even more when you dream big. If you needed the whole plan before writing down a big dream, you might never write it at all.

Life is not going to slow down for you. There is no season coming when the world gently hands you back your time. If you wait for things to calm down before starting, you may wait a very long time. The change begins when you decide to change something.

Often, it takes something dramatic to wake us up: a health scare, a loss, a milestone birthday, illness or the end of a relationship. Those moments can bring painful clarity. But you do not have to wait for something to happen. If you are listening and thinking that parts of this are you, let this episode be your call to action. You can decide on an ordinary Friday, with nothing dramatic happening at all. Decide, then start.

September is a wonderful time to plan the final quarter of the year. Many people write off October, November and December and wait for January. Then January arrives and they start cold. In the Dream Life community, we do it differently. We start now, plan the final quarter and walk into the new year already moving.

If you would like to plan your final quarter with me and a group of inspiring women, you can explore Dream Life Coaching at https://www.yourdreamlifestartshere.com/course.

Dreaming big means whatever your heart wants and whatever feels wonderful to you at this stage of life. For one woman, it might be a slower life with more space. For another, it might be a business. It might be a beautiful morning or more time with the people she loves. All of it counts.

For me, my dream life includes running the coaching program, hosting two book clubs, sharing this podcast, living in Sydney, walking in the morning, travelling, speaking, running workshops, creating journals and cards, spending time in nature and being with my family and inspiring people. Every one of those things was written on a page before it became real.

So what is your dream life? Get your pen, open a journal or take a piece of paper and write it down. Put it somewhere you can see it. This is your life and you get to decide how you live it. It will not happen overnight and it will not always be easy, but not living your dream life carries its own weight too.

Take some time this week and start. Thank you for being here today, and thank you again for your beautiful messages while I was away. It is so good to be back. If this episode landed for you, send it to a friend who needs to hear it. Dream big, write it down and take one small step. I will be back on Monday.