career change ceramics dream life dream life podcast emma small guest episode Kristina Karlsson midlife mindset morning routine personal growth podcast

#501 - Emma Small on Mindset, Routines and Creating Her Dream Life


Hi there!

When were you last in flow?

That one question, heard on a podcast, was a turning point for my guest this week.

Emma Small is an occupational therapist, a ceramicist and one of our Dream Life Coaching members, and she is in the middle of a big career change in midlife.

In this episode, Emma shares how she went from feeling stuck to making time for the work she loves, alongside the job she already has. We talk about why mindset became her word for the year, why she writes her three goals down every single morning, how she made room for ceramics by letting some things go, and why it matters to stop and celebrate the progress along the way.

She also shares her morning routine, the novel that shaped her at 11, and the advice she would give her younger self.

Is there something you loved once, and lost sight of along the way?

As always, I’d LOVE to hear what resonated most with you - so please share and let’s keep the conversation going in the Dream Life Podcast Facebook Group here.

Have a wonderful week ...and remember, it all starts with a dream.

Enjoy!

PS: If you would like support turning your dreams into action alongside a group of inspiring women, explore Dream Life Coaching: https://www.yourdreamlifestartshere.com/course

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TRANSCRIPT:

Kristina: Hi there, and welcome back to Your Dream Life Podcast. today I'm joined by Emma Small, a ceramicist and one of our Dream Life Coaching members. Emma is so incredibly inspiring. She's also in the middle of a big career change, and today we are talking mindset, routines, and how she is creating her dream life in midlife.

It's really, really amazing. Let's dive right in. Well, hello, Emma. I cannot tell you how excited I am to have you on my podcast.

A very warm welcome.

Emma: Thank you, Kristina. I'm very excited to be here because I've listened to your podcast over the years and, never thought I'd be a guest on it

Kristina: Mm, you never know, do you, when you dream big?

Emma: True

Kristina: So I would love to start with a question that I ask everyone who comes on my podcast, and that is: Did you have a dream as a child, something you wanted to do, have, or become?

Emma: I thought about this the other day because you asked us this, and I forgot that I had this dream, and now you will think, wow, I wanted to be an artist. And I actually forgot that that was my dream as a child

Kristina: Yeah. Wow. How powerful is that?

Emma: Yeah

Kristina: Was that something in your-- that you saw around you as your environment as you were growing up? Or was that something that you saw from a bit of a distance and think, "That sounds interesting," or were you just naturally an artist 'cause you are?

Emma: I think I didn't have anyone around me doing art. My mum, even though she wouldn't think it, was very creative, so she created a beautiful home environment. She loves beauty and being immersed in that, whether it's a garden or even how you serve something on the plate. and she always had artwork in the house, and she was probably my, my biggest champion, and I really wasn't the sort of girl who liked to play dolls, and I would just sit and draw and be very crafty, and she always supported that

Kristina: Yeah, fantastic. I think that's often an early sign of creativity, but it's also really, i- great to remind everyone who's listening that I often hear that people say they're not creative, but I think everyone is creative just in different ways. So with my kikki.K background, a lot of people assumed that I was super good at drawing and designing, and I, I'm still not good at that.

But I had a good eye, I think, for what I liked and, um, I also, you know, like your mum, love a beautiful environment. I love, you know, colour coordinate, as you can see behind me. And I just think that we, we're creative. And even like I buy a lot of cookbooks, and I don't necessarily cook a lot from them, so I'm definitely taking a lot of inspiration from them, but I don't always follow recipes.

For me, a cookbook is actually a creative outlet because often beautiful stories about what that recipe came from, often, you know, from, the previous generation or something that they picked up where they travel or, um, the photography. Like I just... And the colours and often really beautifully designed, especially, today's cookbook.

So, um, yeah, creativity comes in all the, sorts of places, not just, um, uh, as an artist, and I think that's worth reminding everyone who's listening.

Emma: No, I completely agree. Even writing, you can be an incredible wordsmith, and that's creativity. Other people don't have that skill

Kristina: Yeah, absolutely. So, so, so true. All right. So we met through coaching, what really got me so inspired this year was to see your journey. it's such a privilege to be a coach because obviously I'm very passionate about helping people create their dream life. and sometimes it takes people a bit of time to kinda get into doing the work because as we know, not easy to come up what you want.

I mean, that's sometimes the hardest part, but once you've done that, the real work starts by actually doing it. and as we both know, it doesn't happen overnight. So I was curious, can you take us back before coaching? what was life looking like, and what made you actually put your hand up to join the coaching program?

Emma: Yeah

I was really ready for coaching, and I knew I wanted to change my life. what my life looked like, I would say up until about probably 18 months ago, even two years, I had hit a wall. I'm an occupational therapist. I work in high-level disability. incredibly passionate about the work I've done in-- very driven.

I loved it and I've had my own business for, I don't know, 28 years. I literally hit a wall and realised I was burnt out. did a really good deep dive. That's a very common thing. and a lot of people talked about COVID. I don't-- I think that was one aspect, but it was the type of work. and I actually remember where I was standing, and I was listening to a podcast that said, "When were you in-- last in flow?"

And that's when I went, "Oh my gosh, I'm not in flow. I need something different in my life." And I remember when I was in flow, it was when I was back at school doing ceramics, and I went, "That's it. I'm gonna get a bag of clay." And I just started making. But I promised myself when I was making that it was purely for me, and I had to enjoy doing it.

So my life as well, it was like Groundhog Day. I didn't get joy from the work I was doing. I've never been an unmotivated person, and it was like every 10 minutes I had to tie myself to the chair to write a report. And what I've realised, 'cause I've done a lot of deep work, reflection, counselling, I'm very happy to talk about all this 'cause I hope it helps others, was really looking at why am I unhappy, why don't I have that joy, and 'cause I've always been so passionate and I wanted that passion back.

You can even hear it in my voice. So that's why... And also, I'm a big believer in you can either be a victim to your circumstances or you can choose to live the life you want to live. Realising when I say that, that's an incredibly privileged position to be in.

But like everyone, I have had a lot of trauma and interesting things in my life, and I see a lot of this and I went, "I don't wanna be like some of the clients I see where you become a victim to it.

I want to lead the life I want to lead." So that's what my life looked like beforehand. Yeah I was very stuck

Kristina: Yeah, yeah. Which, which, um, you know, it comes in different shapes and forms, and it comes... Like, I had it when I was 22 because I came to a new country, and it was kind of a, a, like, "What am I gonna do with my life?" And I think, you know, you know, I was lucky to have it early.

But then, you know, I had to re- reimagine my life, uh, when I lost my business. So, so we all have those kind of, uh, realisations, and it just comes in different shape and forms, and it also comes at different timings. And sometimes it comes multiple times in our lifetime. And I think it's such a...

If we can look at the way you are looking at it, it's such an amazing thing. And yes, we are very privileged. For people who are listening to this, this podcast, we are, most of us here are very privileged to have access to, um, internet and also live in a country where choices is possible. And I know this is a, podcast that is, global, but most countries, have that option, and it's, um...

But it doesn't mean that it's easy. So, I'm glad you brought that up. So, You said before that you loved kikki.K for years, so thank you for that. what made you go from admiring kind of a brand from afar to actually then being part of it? 'Cause now on Monday, Mondays we all meet, and if... I f- I don't know how you feel, but I feel like it's like a family and I just, I'm just so looking forward to it, and I, I love having that on a Monday because first, Monday nights in my life has never been something specific.

It's always been, you know, the first day of the week, it's almost like, got through the first kind of day. And then, it's something that I look forward to obviously around the b- the book clubs as well after, and I just feel like it's so nice to actually make Monday night a beautiful night

Emma: No, I agree. so again, I've got my mother to thank for with kikki.K. She introduced me to that brand, and I used a lot of the notepads and journ- I actually didn't use a lot of the journals per se as in journaling. That's something the coaching program has introduced to me that's been life-changing. But I think I'd always followed and I've always been inspired by other...

I call them kickass women. I just love, strong women who go after what they want. So I think you had always been there and I'd heard your journey, and I loved that you were so open talking about, kikki.K and losing that business and really sharing that openly. And I thought, if you can go from that to what you are doing now, then you have demonstrated that you can do great things when you've had incredible challenges.

So I'm a big believer, be coached by people who have done it, and that's how it led me into the Monday nights. I think I was explaining because I run ceramic workshops, so they accidentally, um, booked it on a Monday night for one term, and I was devastated because I agree with you, allocating that one hour every Monday night, even though you can listen to the recordings, there's nothing like it because for me, like everyone else with a busy life, you don't allocate the time compared to if you turn up and you've got to show and it gives you a timeline to get the work done

Kristina: Yeah, absolutely. and I love that you're saying that because, um, a lot of us, me included, are really good at consuming material, so it feels really inspiring. You know, if you were to go for a walk and listen to a podcast or even to listen to a recording from a, one of our coaching session, would almost feel like you're doing the work.

And because you, you're getting inspired and you get ideas, and that's all amazing. But doing the work is a different thing, and putting pen to paper, which is something I'm very passionate about because I feel like that's helped our neural pathways and it just ingrains and, you know, a lot of our work is kind of comp- um, repetition on things in different, formats, and it's all because it takes time to change.

And I just think that showing up is, you know, as we spoke about just before we, pushed recording, is that the 500 episode was basically two things. One, consistency, because every week... You know, I, I definitely missed, a few weeks, um, over the years, but, uh, I think to a total four weeks, two weeks when I lost my business and two weeks quite recently when I just had too much on my plate, and I was actually fine to say, "It's o- it's okay to let it go."

But consistency and showing up, because even though I love my podcast and I love these kind of conversation, it still requires work, it still requires you to show up, and it's so easy to put that off. And that is, like, our life. Like, it's so easy to put off, doing the coaching program.

It's so easy to put off doing exercise. It's so easy to put off eating well, even though we know what the benefits are. So, so that's why I like consistency and showing up. It's a really beautiful combination, and if you continue doing that... Like, when I sat down my first podcast, I never thought about the 500.

Like, that wasn't even... I was happy. I actually, I, I actually didn't think... The first 50 was really, really hard for me, and that's why I think when people come into the coaching program, I know it takes... You know, I, I remember someone saying, who's been with us for a long time, she said, "I finally get what you mean with creating a morning ritual."

So this person had a very different lifestyle, very late nights. So for someone like that, it's really hard to even get the benefits or understanding the benefits of a morning ritual. And, and then when she... I think she said it last year or maybe the year before, "I'm finally getting it." So change take time

Emma: Absolutely. But that consistency and showing up, like you said, on a Monday night. And I work really well with routine. Sometimes I wish I could go against that grain, but I've been... as I've got older, I've embraced what my strengths are, and that routine, I stick to my morning routine whenever I can. but that's been really life-changing.

That's been just amazing.

Kristina: Yeah. Yeah. Fantastic. So I asked you to be part of the hot seat in November So for anyone who's listening, so every now and then when we have an extra Monday, I invite someone who is, um, doing extraordinary things, because there's quite a lot of new members that might not know everyone, so I like to spotlight someone who's really doing the work in different ways. and I thought of you, Emma, for November because, um, uh, what I have seen this year has been so incredibly inspiring, because I also know it hasn't been easy, and, um, I also know that, when you show up, I can, I can just see it and feel it.

And, um, and it's been so great and I'm- w- really missed you when, um, you were not there on the Mondays. but when I asked you about the hot seat and I was explaining what November is about, which is all about mindset. So every year I work on my own mindset because when we have big dreams and want it to evolve, so I always had big dreams, you always require an different kind of mindset, and it's a growth mindset, so it never, you never kind of set it and it's done.

So every, every November we- that's the theme in the coaching program. And, you had that as your word of the year, and I didn't know that. So tell us about that.

Emma: I know, I couldn't believe it. It's like things have been really aligning. Um, I've always been a goal-driven person, but I started to change it up a few years ago and pick a word so that.

It was very simple, and every time I make a decision or I get... I need to get back on track, I think, "What is my word?"

And this year it was mindset because I thought if I really want to change up my life, the big thing that is going to move That needle so much is my mindset. And from viewing other people all the time with the type of work I do, I know it is mindset every single time. so, I set out with mindset. I am someone who bites off way more they than they can chew, and I remember you saying about the three goals.

I'm like, "Okay, this woman speaks the language I need to hear," and I had my three goals. and I've just really applied that mindset, and I, I cannot tell you how life-changing it has been. And it's like I have agency now. That's a word I wish I had have heard more. I felt... When you were asking me what it was like before the coaching, I felt trapped.

I knew there was a different life I wanted to lead, but I didn't know how to go about it. And I think too, I love where I live, I love my family, I love all that, but I needed new energy and something to challenge me in a different way. And so that's why the coaching program, I thought, "I'm gonna give that a go because it aligns well with mindset," and it has.

Yeah, I just think mindset, no matter what you want to achieve, it's a big thing. But again, like you said, it's the consistency and the showing up even when, we talked about this, when it's hard. Like, doesn't matter what you're doing and how motivated you are, how exciting it could be, there are days when you are tired and it is hard and you don't wanna do it, but that morning routine, sets me up for the day

Kristina: Yeah. Yeah, that's so fantastic to hear. Thank you for sharing that. So tell us, what happened when you wrote your dreams down? Was there, anything that kind of surprised you or, um, you know, thinking, " you know, this is another kind of path going forward"?

Emma: When you ask the question, and you often say, "I know I say this a lot," but you need to hear the evidence shows us things sometimes 11 times before it even registers. What would you do if you had all the skills in the world, there was no barriers, you could do anything? And that's-- There's a big difference between dreaming, I now understand, compared to goals.

So the dreaming was pivotal in allowing me to go, "My God, what would I do?" And then I started to, like, dream so big. However, talking about writing your goals down, then pairing that back to what are the three things again for me that will move the needle the most, because otherwise there's all these bright, shiny objects and you'll get lost.

For me, writing those three things down, that was a game changer, and that is part of my morning routine where I just sit... I put the timer on and music. I just do what you've taught us is a brain dump. I don't even have cues. I literally dump it. If I've written bad things in there, I literally burn it so it is gone, but I get it out.

And then every day I write my three goals. And again, what you were saying, um, might have been before recording, and again, I realise I've got all these incredible skills as an occupational therapist. It's that, um, neural alignment, writing it down every day physically but mentally, and it re-anchors me back to what do I want to achieve, and then I plan out my day based on those goals that I have to tick off one just small thing to move me closer, and it

Kristina: Yeah.

Yeah. It's so fantastic to hear because you, you kind of nail it with the dreaming because, there's no way I would have started my first business, kikki.K, if I was setting goals, because then I would, I would not have dreamt big enough. and also, you know, once I realised I wanted to have a business, I dreamt about a global business, but I didn't even have a business yet.

And you would never do that if you were just planning, because you can't plan 120 stores when you don't have one. You, you start much smaller, and you, you should start much smaller. But you- but having the dream to kinda keep you going, keep things exciting and, and also realising your, um, potential without actually knowing that you can do it yet.

Because of course, with all dreams that are new, we don't know it, and we don't know if we can do it, and, um, we don't need to, because first, you... That's why I love Mondays, because a lot of people come in and they don't believe that they can create their dream life yet. And that's why I believe, because I have not heard one dream yet that I don't think is possible.

But it doesn't mean that they're gonna make it happen overnight, because no one does. But it means that they need to show up, and that's what you need help with. and I think often You know, we, we love our family, and we love our friends, but they not, might not be the best people to advise you on your dream life because they often put their fears and their, um, limitations in, in their opinion.

And, um, they, they do that because they care about you and love you, but you want someone who kind of will gently push you a little bit and also can lend, that belief that most people don't have yet.

Emma: And that's what's been critical. I was getting so excited as you said that because you can make yourself smaller and fit into the environment around you, and I needed the freshness and the championing and the excitement of being able to push yourself outside of that, and that's what it's done. And I, I can't agree more with what you're saying.

Kristina: Yeah. That's so amazing. I absolutely love this. so, let's talk about, your kind of... I'm gonna call it mid-career. You, uh, you might want to rephrase that. so still doing that, but your passion is now in ceramics.

Emma: Yes

Kristina: Tell us a little bit about the dream, and also about the, maybe the first small steps because you're still in your job and I, and I absolute- I mean, you could not be a more perfect podcast guest because, this is our reality.

We can't often quit our job right away because we have perhaps family to support or, you know, support ourself with, uh, you know, food and a roof over our heads. So, you have demonstrated this in, the most perfect way, and there's of course nothing like a perfect way. There is perfect way for each of us, whatever that is for each individual.

But tell us about your big dream, and then where you started.

Emma: Okay. So I decided I no longer wanted to be an OT, and that was so scary because it had been my business, my passion, and my identity when I think about it. So I had to do a lot of work. I'm going to be very transparent about this 'cause I hope it helps others. I went off and I did counselling and I got people to challenge me.

I challenged why am I still holding onto this thing even though I'm unhappy doing this? All the reasons, the fears of, well, I need to bring an income in and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I knew deep down that I never wanted to work for someone else. And there may be times that I have to do that, but I knew being the master of my own destiny was one of my core values, and so I stuck to that.

Then what I did was I started to do the dreaming and went, "What do I love?" And I've worked very hard at being, I suppose, an en- entrepreneur, so I've used all those skills now to see the opportunities. So how it started.

Was it was just a hobby. Then I went, "What if I could make this a career?" And I tinkered with that.

Then I just started to sell a few things at market. So I looked at opportunities. So now, because I'd shifted my mindset, all these opportunities started to just come into my orbit and my periphery. I'm a big believer in what energy you put out there goes around and comes back to you. And then I made sure I took up on the opportunities, and then people started to say to me...

So I'm midlife, perimenopausal, but all these women were saying to me, "Will you run workshops in ceramics?" And I went, "Definitely not." I was just so burnt out. I knew that that's incredibly giving, and I do things at a very high energy level. And then I went, "But what if this is an opportunity?" So I just took the dive, and I did it.

I did a test run, got feedback, and then I just took a leap of faith, and it was scary. And I'm saying all these words to people, not every time you do it, it is scary. But I went, "If you want a different life, you're going to have to push yourself, Emma." So then I started doing all those, and then I made sure I only did two things.

I did mentoring with you and the Dream Life program, and I'd learnt not to do too much. And I did something like kind of business mentoring through Instagram though, because I knew that was an area for creatives. So just did those two things, and then I gave myself goals, but I was kind to myself this time.

And I just gave myself certain time frames of, wouldn't it be lovely if I could just work as an OT four days a week? Then I stripped it back to three days a week, and I knew I had to do more, maybe at night or early in the mornings, but I found all this time. I found time where I used to do X, well, now I could use this in a better way to create that time.

And it does mean you have to let a lot of things go, and that's up to the individual. But I started to push back and go, not that my... I've got an amazing family and, um, partner, but it was, I'm not responsible for cooking all the meals. I'm not responsible for the washing. I'm not responsible for a lot of this stuff.

But the important things I stuck at, which is spending time with family and, um, children. So that's how I've done the transition, and I'd say I'm midway there. And once you start to see the momentum And I'd say another thing is you really need to stop and celebrate and reflect when you are achieving those things to really reinforcing that it's happening.

Kristina: Yeah

Emma: And I'm probably at a stage now, Kristina, where it's so much doing both, so I'll have... Uh, sorry, this is one really important thing I noticed about myself. It would've been really easy to keep defaulting back into OT because you know it, you can do it, and you know you have to earn that income.

I had to be really diligent at setting aside that time and doing nothing else but the ceramics and working on that aspect of the business, and that for me was critical, otherwise it wouldn't have happened. Because I had done that for a few years. I kept defaulting back into OT

Kristina: Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing that. It's so important also because I also think that a lot of people, me included, waste time on things that is not important. So that's why it's so important to know what your values are, what your really dreams are. because those dreams often feel like, feels like a bit of a luxury, like, you know, we-- what a privilege to have a choice to work on those.

But it's also hard, which means that it's sometimes much easier to go back to where you were. And there's a few th- few ways of doing this, for anyone who's listening, is, um, to use your mornings is one thing, and also really think about what are the times where you actually waste time. When I say waste time, it can feel like it's resting time.

So for me, that's scrolling on, um, social media. And I get a lot of inspiration from social media, so it's real- so I want to do that, but it's really easy to justify hours on that versus I don't need hours. And, you know, if I look through my saved folders in my, on my Instagram account, I have more inspiration than I ever will need.

So it's so easy, so that's why I'm sharing it, because it's so easy to, put our excuses as a benefi- benefit, and it might be, but maybe not the amount. So again, watching the news can be another one where we often get addicted, especially if something big is happening in the world. We can go back and back and, uh, you know, the last couple of days, I felt myself, because of what happened, um, uh, with Helen, I felt myself really like I was so, It was so awful that I felt like I just wanted to know what was happening with her. But then I found myself like, am I using that as-- because I don't need, because there's no, not gonna be any changes every hour. And it was almost like an excuse to kind of go and get that dopamine hit that we get from, from news, even if they're, um, you know, terrible news.

And then, um, other things like Netflix, you know. For some people it's eating, drinking, over-exercising. Could be lots of different things that is kind of looking at it as a rest or a good thing for you, but maybe not the amount, that we do. So thank you so much for sharing that, because it's, it's really not easy to do.

To change, you have to change something different to what we've done in the past. And it sounds so simple, doesn't it? Doing it is another thing.

Emma: Absolutely. And I think that's where, for me personally, having a rough guide of the day so that if I get sidetracked I come back to my, um, analogue. I've got a paper diary. I come back to it and I can go, "Oh, that reorients me back to that. That reorients me back to what I needed to achieve." I also think, when you have only the three goals, I'll write down my three most important tasks and I make sure that one task aligns with those goals.

And it might only be 15 minutes on something, but it just moves you forward each day. And again, when you see that, you feel so much better. And of course, just so that people listening don't think, you know, perfect, there's days when that doesn't work and the wheels fall off and I call it juggling all the balls.

And there's often when I throw balls away and I drop them and that's-- everyone does that. You know, they're the hard days. But you get up the next day, go again, and, then when you achieve them you feel really good

Kristina: Yeah, I just wanna reinforce, it's so simple to do, but it's also really hard to do because it, it takes a bit of a... You need to remember it, and also you need to, to do it. And writing down your dreams every day is so much more than, than we think it is, because it really makes you, you, you change your neural pathways.

So all of a sudden, when you have choices, like the choices that we talked about before, because you write them down and you know, it seems so simple to write down three, three of your dreams or goals or whatever you wanna call them. but when you've done that for, you know, the 365 days, so we're getting close to, to have, uh, uh, gone through them.

If you do that every single day, and yes, there will be days where you miss that, that doesn't really matter. when we do that, when you then have choices to say yes or no to things, you do that without even thinking. So you... So yes, when we're very conscious, we, we might say, you know, "What are my values and what are, most important to me?"

But most of the time when we make choices, if we're gonna go say yes to a coffee with a friend or, watch a film with a family member, all those things are often by default and often by our old default. So writing them down every day is incredibly powerful. And another thing that I absolutely love doing, and, and it's become like a bit of a...

I just feel like it's something that I absolutely love doing, and that is reading my vision for my life. and, uh, recently this year, I have started sauna and cold plunges, which a year ago I would say, "No way," 'cause I used to hate c- cold water. And now when I do the sauna and then I do my cold plunge, I actually go through my top 10 in my head, and that takes about five minutes.

So I sit in cold water in five minutes, which for me actually felt impossible. And I think it because I just go all in on thinking, and not just thinking about doing them, living it. How would it feel when, you know, I'm back to financial freedom, when I am stronger than I've ever been, and all the things that I...

That are really important to me, I go through them and all of a sudden I'm like, "Oh, it's five minutes. Let's go and have another sauna." So it's really powerful. And for anyone, uh, wondering, it's basically just, you know, I go through my top 10, which we just had in October, and, uh, we've never done that before in the coaching program, but we always, I always encourage, I think, everyone to write down their top 10 dreams every month and at least every quarter.

And, uh, because most of us have a few hundred dreams and if we're lucky, we will get a lot of them done. But, reality for me, for sure, who I probably have over 400 dreams, I'm not gonna get them all. So it's really important to know what your top 10 is in terms of if you have a long life, what are those top 10 that you really wanna make happen?

And those, those ones doesn't have to be big, they just need to be really meaningful

So we talked about change feeling scary, feels uncomfortable. What, what kept you going on the hard days?

Emma: My pain point Of not living the life I wanted to live and not being me, my true self. Like even when I'm talking now, this is me passionate about things and loving life. I just wasn't that. And the the pain point had to be great enough for me to move me forward, and I think that's really unfortunate.

And I've, again, come back to this, I've seen it in so many people's lives with who I work with, you can't tell anyone what they've gotta do. The person has to get to a stage where they decide for them the pain point's got bad enough that they really want to do something different, and I knew that.

Yeah But I do look back to where I was and go, "Oh my gosh, it's miles apart now." And probably something, and I was thinking about this on a morning walk this morning, was You are who you are through teenagehood and your 20s, and everyone has their own life experiences. For me, had a business, married, children.

But I never thought I'd do this, but you do lose sight of who you are at times just because of the nature of life. And I think for me, the whole dreaming and knowing I had agency over this again was... It's like being reintroduced to you again

Kristina: Yeah

Emma: And knowing who you are. And I think particularly for women, valuing yourself enough to go, "No, I want these things in life."

And you can't have everything all the time. Things have to adjust. But it was just so exciting to think, wow, that person who had all those dreams, you can still have it. And I think this is something I've thought a lot about, and again, it's only the thoughts I'm having and a lot of, um, the evidence shows us this, things such as retiring at 65 came about because of g- of a government need.

It was never there before. And so now we're ageing differently. We're living longer. And for people who wanna retire at 65, great, whatever your dreams are. But we now have so much longer, and we don't have to all follow that same path of a single career or working to this age to have enough money to live the retirement you want.

You can just... I, I like challenging this status quo that you don't have to age in a certain way again because of the work I've done, what I see. And I love how you've talked about being able to live this full life and not putting restrictions on yourself because of age. And now I see that and go, "I've got this whole other life ahead."

And like you've said, when you love what you do, I mean, I can be an artist till the day I go, and I love that. It's

Kristina: Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. And you're gonna be such a role model for the community around you as well, because I think what you said before is so true. Women, because that's our nature, we, we are, you know, caregivers because we have children and that we want t- to have all that. But it's easy to be consumed, and there are certain times where we need to be consumed with that, and it, we want to be consumed with that.

And then when we get out of that, and even, even like when kids leave home, like we, you know, Axel has finished year 12, and I'm like, "Oh my gosh," like it's, it's, you're grieving that time, but it also gives you that opportunity to, to, um... I mean, he's been independent for so long, so it hasn't been a, you know, it's been gradual.

But all of a sudden you have that spare, spare time. Like the other Friday night, I was home alone, which is, um, you know, when you have young kids, that's very rare. and then you have all that time, and it's so easy to just continue the path of, you know, looking after others and even, you know, widening that circle, helping others, and that's a beautiful thing and we should all care for other people, all that.

But we can take some of that back and actually spend time on our dreams. And then I always find that, that because I live my dream life, I inspire other people to do that. and I think, it's not a selfish thing. It's something that I think people are inspired by, and then they wanna do that.

And, and I think if we all did that, wouldn't the world become a better place? Because when we're happier with what we do, and we feel healthier, and we have that path, like I completely agree with you, like, I think I'm gonna do this for the rest of my life. And yes, I'll add other things to it, like there's so many things that I want to do.

But, my coaching is like, it's what I do every day. Like it's, it doesn't feel like work to me. And running a book club, it's like how amazing... Like I, I read anyway, and I love speaking about books, and I love being around like-minded people. It's like my perfect role. Like I could not imagine going to a job that I didn't like. Like I, I mean, I haven't done that for so long. But when I meet people, 'cause I do a lot of speaking now, I meet a lot of people who are stuck in that job. I'm like, "No, you don't have to be stuck. You just need to start dreaming." And that's why I always do the workshop monthly for people who are not in my coaching program, so they can get a bit of a taste for it, and then it's obviously up to them what they do with that.

Emma: And you're right, I think it's hearing that there's alternatives and giving yourself permission, and the one big thing that I did was I started to challenge the status quo. I started to challenge, "This is what other people do, so you should do it, Emma." Well, I started to ask why and what do you want more?

And that was really liberating. And starting to get outside of that and be around like-minded people that challenge you and encourage you and don't restrict you, and then all of a sudden you can pick the path you want to take. Some people can do this early. It might come with experience. I'm a slow learner, but when I get a concept, I go hard at it.

You don't have to live how other people live and what they do. You, you live the life you want to live. And a really beautiful, friend of mine who has a day job and also an artist, she said to me, "Emma, if you wanna create, you have to create the time to do that." So this applies to anyone's goals.

And I said, "So how do you do that?" She said, "I let a lot of things go. I don't clean. I don't dust. I, I have the basics of hygiene, but I have to let that go. My mother would be horrified," she said, "if she saw it, but if I want to create and be an artist, I have to create the time." And by hearing her say that.

It gave me the permission to push back and go, "You know what?

You're so right." And why is it that we assume it's our role in the home to do these things? And for me, People mightn't like hearing this But I'm a big believer in you can default and do everything in your home for the other people, but you set a precedence.

Kristina: Yeah

Emma: And I want to raise with my husband children who are now, teenagers, young adults who are self-sufficient in their life.

So by enabling them to acquire the skills to cook, to clean and those, one of the hardest things is it won't be done the way you want it done. But unless you start to upskill them and accept that that's not gonna be great and you have to let that go, then you upskill them and then you get some of your time back.

And it can be harder doing that, that way. You have to pick your time when you can follow it up and push through, the washing being, put on the line in balls or thrown on the ground. But once you push it and they can do it, oh Yeah. you should see some of the things we've done. It's so liberating and when, like you've talked about A-Axel, they can go out and fend for themselves and be these incredible independent humans, you know, I actually say you've given your children an absolute gift rather than doing everything for them

Kristina: Yeah, I couldn't agree more. And that's another aspect, too, in terms of people sometimes say that they can't afford, I hear this all the time, can't afford a coaching program or can't afford to start like something that you have. and that might be true, and it's difficult time right now 'cause the, the cost of living is really high.

But my view of that is, for example, I've rarely... Like, I have two coaches myself, and they're very, um, it's very pricey, both of them, and but they're world-class. And, uh, I have a thing where until I make a certain amount of money, I don't buy any new clothes unless, you know, I need a pair of newer runners, you know, shoes and things like that so I don't get injured.

But other than that, I don't buy anything. and it's the same, like for me, organic food is really important, but we rarely do any Uber Eats or those kind of things. So, there is always choices. And I remember there was a lady who joined many years ago when I just started, it was different then because it was the yearly program was just a few weeks, and she gave up coffee I don't buy coffee out. I do when I'm out travelings because then that's kinda my treat. Um, and, um, if I need a coffee, I'll, um, I can't make it at home if I'm traveling. But, Like, the coffees are really expensive now, and here in Australia it's the, um, you know, it's kind of a default.

Most people buy coffee out if they're working from away from their home. and I used to do that too, uh, with Paul, and I worked out that we spent thousands of dollars on coffee, so I no longer do that.

So then I can put that into things that I'm interested in, which is, which is, for me, coaching, and for me is health and wellbeing and books. That's, that's kinda what I spend money on. it's worth talking about this because also a lot of people don't think about alcohol, and I don't drink.

And, uh, alcohol is really expensive. so you just have to choose. And yes, that's... If you love wine, which I used to love wine, it's really hard to give up, and it's really hard to justify something else. But that is, I think that's the choices we have to make with making our dream life come true.

If it's financial or if it's time or if it's being in that little bit of our, you know, outside our comfort zone, there will be some things that will, um, require a bit of different ways. So I always say, "If you want a different life, you have to do different things."

Emma: And I've heard you say that a lot on the different podcasts, and it is so true. It's so simple, but unless you change, nothing is going to change. And that-- this might be for a whole other podcast, but I made... And it was a really big decision for me, I gave up alcohol and have for, I don't know what it is now, I don't count, but maybe 20 months or something, and it was a game changer.

It was a game changer in so many ways.

Kristina: Yeah.

Yeah. Not just financial, but, you know, if we're gonna talk about alcohol, it's like, um... Yeah, and it all depends on, because some people, if you have a one glass of wine and it doesn't affect you, then it doesn't matter. But for those people, especially our age, where, hormones are really disrupted by alcohol, and for me it was sleep.

Like, if I don't have sleep, I can't do what I'm doing, and I live a very full life. so yes, I used to love a glass of wine or two, but it was just that kind of, you just had to choose which one. And I'm not saying everyone needs to gi- give up alcohol. It's up to each person. And also I might be-- I haven't made a rule that I'll never touch it again, but I just love not drinking.

So, you know, I'm just giving examples here on the... And it's the same with like, being up at night, watching things late at night. Like, I just don't do that because I love working on my dreams so much more. And I think it's hard to do that until you start doing it and then you, you can see that on you now.

Like you, you know, you're, you're just gonna keep going and, and every s- there's always like the next stage and the next stage and the next stage and, it's always difficult, but it just, the rewards that we get when we work on our dreams, just incredible.

Emma: Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I... agree any more

Kristina: Yeah. Fantastic. So, what does it mean to... So you talk about the coaching program has been a really game changer for you, but I also wanna just talk a little bit about all the incredible people in there, because I think, uh, I think sometimes when we, when we think about a coaching program or using a mentor or a coach, everyone will choose different things.

I think we join a coaching program or a mentor or a coach to get the knowledge, but we stay for the commu- we stay for the community, and I have no doubt that that will be similar for your workshops as well, because they'll come for the knowledge, but then they just wanna be around creative women that are doing similar things.

So, so how have you found that in the, in the coaching program? Because a lot of people, a lot of people ask, and of course I'm very biased, that's why I love having other people who are-- who can talk about it, and I haven't paid Emma anything to, to talk about this because I've just seen her doing it, and I think there's nothing better than actually hearing from someone who's actually doing it versus teaching it.

Emma: Yeah

Absolutely. the community, I think, I think we're all craving community, and we all know the evidence shows us how important social community is. Inside the coaching program, everyone's very different.

They're at different stages of life doing different things. But because you don't know each other, I think, and you don't know all the ins and outs of people's lives, it feels very safe and secure. No one ever has to speak up unless they feel comfortable, but you're pushed, pushed is not the right word, but you're encouraged, really well to put yourself out there and talk about the wins you're having, but as importantly, the things that are hard.

And what I love is when you come in often and you don't really know... You've got your topic for your month, but it might be Q&A or reviewing things. I often think, "Oh, interesting. I wonder what we'll be going through tonight." But listening to other people and how they resolve challenges will help you, and you always walk away with other ways that you can apply. Yeah

Kristina: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, you, I, I, today I've been writing down things. I get ideas, and it's just endless of what we learn from other people, so yeah, so

Emma: Absolutely. And I think having people... so Kristina, I think having people, again, that aren't shutting you down or closing off ideas, it's,

It's opening you up. Yeah,

Kristina: Yeah. And I often hear that because our accountability session at the last Monday of every month, we have an accountability where everyone is divided up. For anyone who's listening, um, and don't know it, we- I divide them up randomly, and I often get messages after saying, "Did you, purposely put me with this person?

'Cause she was just perfect." And I'm like, "No, I didn't." It would take me forever to do that because everyone is so amazing, so it will be a very big puzzle. So I always let Zoom do it, because what happens is that sometimes you get someone that you feel like, "Actually, why would I be paired with that person 'cause they are so different from me?"

It might be age or it might be very different dreams or backgrounds or different countries, whatever it is. And I always feel like when I hear that, people say, "Oh." It opens people's mind that we're all the same, but just, you know, different in, in... But fundamentally we're all the same. And then I also love when people think, "This was just the perfect person for me because that is exactly what I'm going through."

And then what we see when we, we see each other on screen all the time is that we don't know what is going on in people's lives, and that's why it's such a great way of doing two and two, because then you get a bit of a better insight. Because not only will you learn from that person, but you can also support that person.

It's such a beautiful way. I absolutely love it, and, and as you know, I go, try to go to every room just to visit, but it's impossible because I always got, get sucked in listening and I'm like... And I always take lots and lots of notes to see how then I can support whatever they are dealing with. So yeah, I love that.

So I wanna ask you, couple more questions. So you talked about your morning ritual being so important. what do you do, um, roughly? And I know that this is not something that would work all the time, but maybe talk about your ideal one that will be different perhaps, um, depending on where you're at.

Emma: Well, I change it up depending on what my needs are, but currently I get so excited about my morning routine in that I want to go to bed to get up to do my routine. I know, really sad, but I love it and I own it. So I get up at 5:00. It's not to say I jump out of bed at 5:00, I do find that hard, but it means I have an hour on my own and I s- I do exactly the same thing now again, routine.

I do tongue scraping. I have a massive glass of water with lemon juice and creatine. I take the tablets I need to take for whatever reasons. And then I make a coffee that early because it's such a treat, and I put my timer on and I journal. And like I said earlier, I just, brain dump and it helps me to process anything in there.

And then I start to ask myself questions like, "Oh, I observe myself. That's really interesting. Why do I think that?" And then I give myself a bit of a pep talk on what I want to achieve. I write my goals. and then I've got this journal here and I write down... I review what I did yesterday, what needs to come over, but it's not a to-do list.

I think this is really important. I write out most important tasks, one, two, three, that align with those goals that are gonna move the needle the most that day, but I don't bite off too much than I can chew. Write my list so that when I am tired during the day, I've got it there and it re-orients me.

And then I either do a morning walk in nature and I align this with people that fill my cup and I fill their cup. And otherwise, because I'm at that stage and health was one of my m- biggest goals, I go and do a gym program with a very small group with an instructor that really challenges you to lift heavy weights,

And it's been great.

And then that's probably my main routine, and then I get on with life

Kristina: Yeah, yeah. Love it, love it, love it. And, um, is there a book that has had a big impact on your life or one of your favourite nonfiction books?

Emma: Uh, I'm going to give you, a fiction actually.

Kristina: Yeah,

Emma: And I think I read this when I was 11. I look back now and go, "That's a bizarre book to have read when I was 11." But it's called "A Woman of Substance" by Barbara Taylor Bradford. I re-read it, and now I'm a lot older, I thought, Wow that was an interesting book at that age."

But it was pivotal because, again, it was this amazing, strong woman who was really challenged. She pushed back, and she created this life for herself. And it inspired me from such a young, young age to probably dream big, but also that I could be an entrepreneur, that I could have a business. And something I think that was really interesting was a friend of mine who read that book said, "Ooh, I don't know if I liked that because I think that woman was selfish."

Which I think aligns really well with what we're talking about, whereas I took it as so inspiring and that women could lead a very different life, and that it's okay and you're not necessarily being selfish to go after the life that you'd like

Kristina: Absolutely not. And you know, I absolutely love that. And, oh my gosh, how important it is to have role models, reading books if you don't have role models when you're young, so you can create something that perhaps is not current for you right now as an 11-year-old.

You didn't know what that was going to mean, but you definitely have learnt it. But another thing that I think is so important, and then we'll finish up, is that, I think everyone should ask, "Why not me?" Because I look at all these talented people in the coaching program and the people that I meet out and about when I speak, and they often...

It's almost, they don't say it, but it's almost like, " you know, I'm not that person," or, "I'm not talented." And you know, and then they look at people who, maybe have a doctor in front of their name or, or something that is, you know, they, they might be years ahead of them, and they think, "Oh, they are something special."

And yes, they might be special, but so are you. And, uh, we can all create something, and it doesn't mean that we... Well, it happens overnight, and I think this is where, I feel so passionate about this because I often get people who's starting their businesses now, and I've been in business for 30 years.

Of course, I will know a few more things than someone who's just starting. But in today's world, you can learn it really quickly compared to when I had to, had to. And, uh, and also there are, you know, now because we are so connected with, other people, we can actually learn from other people really quickly as well.

So I think, um, I think it's so important to have role models, be around like-minded people, and be inspired by other people who are just perhaps, a little bit ahead of us but doesn't mean that they are anything more special. They've just done it more than you have.

Emma: Absolutely. And there's a person who influenced me out in this area. Her name's Lottie Rae, and she's an artist, and I listened to her talk once. She's done the most amazing things, and I really admire and respect her. One, she is always the same person and true to herself. And two, someone had talked one day about her artwork and went, "Oh, well, I could, I could paint that."

And I loved her answer. It was, "But you didn't."

Kristina: Exactly.

Emma: So good.

Kristina: Absolutely. It's, it's so true. It's so true. oh, that just sums it up perfectly. So for anyone who are interested in di- digging deeper on your workshops and your artwork and all the things, we're gonna link to it. But would you wanna just explain in case someone wanna come and do, do your workshops?

Emma: Yeah

Absolutely. So, I run my, creative work under The Small Artisan because my name's Emma Small. And, I create both artworks and ceramics that you can buy at markets, and also have several shop releases a year through Instagram and the handle there is smallartisan. And then where I'm moving into is running retreats, so, with beautiful places you can stay, meditation, yoga, ceramics.

And you can find that through mainly Instagram or alternatively the sign up to, um... I've got some notes that go out once every fortnight, a newsletter. if you go onto my website at, um, thesmallartisan.com.au, it will come up on there

Kristina: Fantastic. So we'll link to all of this for anyone who's listening as well. But, Emma, this has been so inspiring. First, thank you so much for saying yes, and also thank you so much for joining our beautiful community because it's been so incredibly inspiring. As a coach, you are a dream and I absolutely loved watching you with the ups and downs that we all have when we create our dream life, it's been nothing but inspiring.

So, and that's like w- as a coach, I never expect everything to be perfect. I never expect everything to go to plan because it rarely does. So I love seeing the ups and the downs because that is when we really have to dig in, and that is when we learn, and that is how we grow.

So thank you. The last question I have for you, knowing what you know now, what advice would you give to your younger self?

Emma: Mm-hmm. That you can do anything that you put your mind to, and that you have agency over the direction you take every step of the way in your life.

Kristina: Yeah.

Emma: And I'd like to take this opportunity to say thank you to you, Kristina, 'cause you've been incredibly inspiring and, it's been a real privilege, so thank you

Kristina: Ah, thank you so much. Likewise, l- right back to you. And, um, I am now excited because I'm gonna add to come to your retreat. I'm, I have not done any ceramics, so I'll be the, uh, the new person, so I'll add that to my list of dreams, and I can already see a few others that would love to come to that as well.

So, I can't wait for that. So thank you for adding to my dreams as well.

Emma: Thank you.

Kristina: Thank you.

Wow, that was so, so inspiring, and Emma, if you are listening to this, I am so proud of you, and I know your story will inspire so many people listening. You will find Emma at thesmallartisan.com.au and on Instagram at Small Artisan.

Please check out what she's doing and maybe join one of her retreats and follow her on Instagram. She's so inspiring and so talented. if something Emma shared today resonated with you and you are ready to stop waiting, and start making your dreams happen, I would love for you to join us in the Dream Life Coaching program.

Whenever you listen to this, but if you're listening, listening to it at the time of releasing, mindset is our theme for November. But whenever you are joining, you will always have access to past things. So if you're listening to this at any later time, it's all recorded. The Dream Life Coaching program is a 12-month live group program where we meet every Monday on Zoom.

You will get clear on what matters to you, and you will write your dreams down, build a weekly rhythm that keeps you moving, and you'll have a community cheering you on every step of the way, just like Emma. We keep each intake to 10 members, so everyone gets real support from the start.

So if you wanna be one of them, make sure you sign up for the wait list, or if it's open, make sure you join before the 10 spots are gone. You'll find more at yourdreamlifestartshere.com. Until next time, keep dreaming big and taking one small at a time, and I can't wait to see you back here next week.

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