By Kristina Karlsson

Let me ask you something... how do you feel about spending time on your own?

For many of us, especially in a world that celebrates being busy, being social, and constantly connected, the idea of solitude can feel a little... uncomfortable.

Maybe even a bit scary. But what if I told you that learning to be happily alone might just be one of the most powerful things you can do for your wellbeing, your creativity, and your dreams?

Recently on my podcast, I had the most inspiring conversation with author and journalist Francesca Specter, who wrote a brilliant book called Alonement: How to Be Alone and Absolutely Own It.

And wow—what a rich and nourishing chat we had.

Together, we explored how intentional solitude—what Francesca calls “alonement”—isn’t something to fear or avoid. In fact, it’s a way to reconnect with yourself, get crystal clear on what you want, and find a calm strength that comes from within.

Here’s what I learned from our conversation—and why I believe alonement belongs near the heart of your dream life journey.

🌿 What is Alonement?

Francesca coined the word alonement to describe something we don’t often have the language for—positive, intentional alone time that is nourishing rather than lonely. It’s not just solitude. It’s not isolation. It’s choosing to spend time with yourself in a way that uplifts you.

Think: going to your favourite café with a book, journaling by candlelight, or booking yourself a solo day spa or retreat (yes please!). Alonement is about doing the things you love without needing anyone else to join you or validate them.

✨ Why We Need Alone Time Now More Than Ever

We live in such a noisy world. Social media, group chats, packed schedules—it’s easy to get swept up in what everyone else is doing and forget to listen to what you want.

Francesca shared something that really stuck with me: we’re not taught how to be alone. And for many people, being with your own thoughts feels hard at first. But the truth is, spending time alone is where your true self begins to speak. It’s where you access your inner wisdom. It’s where clarity and creativity live.

As Francesca said, “Your relationship with yourself is the most important one you’ll ever have.” Yes!

✍️ How to Start Practising Alonement

Whether you’re an introvert like me or a born extrovert like Francesca, there’s a way to make alonement part of your life. Here are five powerful insights from our chat that can help you begin:

1. Start Small & Remove the Pressure

You don’t have to plan a solo trip to Tuscany to begin. (Although—dreamy, right?) Start with 15 minutes at a café with your journal. Go for a walk without headphones. Take yourself to a movie. Small steps build confidence.

2. Be Intentional

This is not about scrolling on your phone while technically alone. Choose to be present with yourself. Read, reflect, eat slowly, write, breathe. You are worth that time.

3. Create Rituals

I love rituals. They anchor us. Francesca meditates every morning. I journal. Some people take weekly artist’s dates or monthly solo spa visits.

It doesn’t need to be long—just something regular that’s for you.

4. Communicate Your Needs

If you live with a partner or have a busy family life, alone time might feel like a luxury. But you deserve it. Talk about it.

Schedule it in your calendar like any other commitment. Francesca beautifully described this as “positive selfishness.” I love that.

5. Use Journaling to Hear Your Inner Voice

Francesca and I both swear by journaling. It clears the mental clutter and makes things feel lighter and more manageable. She shared a brilliant tip: when thoughts are swirling, journaling helps stop you from ruminating on the same idea over and over.

You see it clearly, and you can move forward.

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💛 The Real Magic of Alonement

What happens when you begin to really enjoy your own company? You stop relying on external approval. You make choices that are aligned with your values. You dream bigger and bolder—because you’re finally tuned in to what matters most to you.

And let’s be honest, you become more present with others too. When we take time to recharge and reconnect with ourselves, we show up more grounded, calm and intentional.

Alonement isn’t about cutting yourself off from the world. It’s about coming home to yourself so that you can engage with the world from a place of fullness.

🌸 My Invitation to You

If this topic speaks to you—and I have a feeling it might—here’s your invitation to start carving out space for alonement in your life.

It doesn’t have to be big. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to start.

And if your heart is whispering for more, I’d absolutely love to welcome you to my Solitude Retreat this May on the Mornington Peninsula. It’s a deeply nurturing, gentle experience designed to help you reconnect with yourself, create your own alonement rituals, and return home feeling calm, clear and inspired.

You can find out more at www.yourdreamlifestartshere.com 

🌟 5 Key Takeaways:

1. Solitude is a skill you can build—start small and be kind to yourself.

2. Alonement means choosing alone time that feels good, not lonely.

3. Journaling helps process thoughts and reconnect with your inner wisdom.

4. Creating rituals makes solitude feel sacred rather than selfish.

5. Alone time helps you show up more present, creative and aligned—with yourself and others.

 

Time with yourself is never wasted. In fact, it might just be the missing ingredient to unlocking your next dream.

Until next time, keep dreaming big, spending time with your beautiful self—and trusting that your inner voice always knows the way.

With love,